ABOUT 20 years ago I received a phone call. A friend of mine was attending a conference sponsored by the Boys and Girls Clubs and he said to me, "You have to come and hear the speaker this afternoon."
I did, and that's when I was introduced to the 40 Developmental Assets developed by the Search Institute. This list helps us to determine what it is our kids need to thrive. It is also simple and makes a lot of sense. The factors are broken down into external assets such as support, empowerment, boundaries, expectations and constructive use of time. And internal assets such as commitment to learning, positive values, social competencies and positive identity.
A complete list is available on their website at searchinstitute.org.
While the list makes sense, the challenge is to figure out how to use it in practical ways.
In his book, What Every Kid Needs - and Money Can't Buy, Keith Pattinson has very effectively used his skill as a storyteller to make these assets accessible and real on a day-to-day basis.
Pattinson is a father and grandfather who has worked with children, youth and their families for more than 40 years. He is a master storyteller and it is his experience with the 40 Developmental Assets and stories that make his new book so compelling.
He begins his book with the simple but also profound concept of significant people. I have often been in conversations with friends in which the conversation turns to people who made a difference in their life. In my case it is a young rookie teacher who stood up to the more senior teachers to plead my case. It was an oratorical contest and my topic was not popular - "Honesty is a state of being uncaught". This young teacher pointed out that I met the criteria and the fact that the teachers preferred another topic was not a good reason for me to lose the contest. A compromise was reached, a tie declared and I did win in the next highest level of the competition. And today, I am a professional speaker.
In his chapter about significant people Pattinson points out that even small acts and simple words can have a lasting impression on kids. He motivates all readers to make the effort to get to know kids and realize how important their connection can be.
Children themselves, according to Pattinson, can also make a difference. Again, using stories of real initiatives, he points out that if you involve children from the start of any program, they will rise to the challenge.
There are some notable examples of kids who are changing the world. For example, brothers Craig and Marc Kielburger, who founded the international development and youth empowerment organization Free the Children and the Me to We social enterprise.
But any kids in any community can make a difference if we just pay attention.
Pattison tells the story of a group of kids from Newfoundland who decided to launch a cookbook to encourage healthy eating in families.
The kids solicited contributions by word of mouth, phone, email, and through a St. Johns Boys and Girls Club newsletter. Because the Boys and Girls Club staff in St. Johns listened to the kids, the book was published.
The lesson is to pay attention to what matters to kids and support them in their initiatives.
Individual initiatives are not the only way to reach kids.
Organizations need to pay attention to how they can support the children in their communities.
In this book there are stories about how the police changed their approach to kids by noting positive behaviours and how one teacher's compassion for a young boy impacted his entire life.
Whether you are a parent who wants to understand the developmental assets that can influence a child, a nonparent who none-the-less has children in his life through family and neighbourhood, or a staff member of an organization working with children and families, this book will have a story that will motivate and move you to give children what they need and money can't buy.
Kathy Lynn is a professional speaker and author of Who's In Charge Anyway? and But Nobody Told Me I'd Ever Have to Leave Home. If you want to read more, sign up for her informational newsletter at parentingtoday.ca.
