I had been working with my client Brenda and her poodle-Australian shepherd cross - an Aussiedoodle - for almost seven months.
We started out together on this journey when Pepsi was a three-month-old puppy who had just finished a local puppy class.
When Brenda contacted me she told me her goal was to have a reliable companion that knew a few commands, was pleasant around other dogs, walked nicely on leash and came when called.
Our training program concentrated on commands and shaping behaviours that would benefit Brenda and her lifestyle and didn't bother with anything she knew she would never use. For the first few months we worked on Pepsi's social skills and taught him to be polite around people. We refined Pepsi's commands of "sit," "down," "wait," "out" and "off" as those would be of benefit to Brenda. We also taught him how to go to his "place" (dog bed or a mat) and stay there. And we spent a lot of time walking around her neighbourhood teaching Pepsi how to be mindful of the leash and not pull, walk on the side Brenda directed him to, and sit when she stopped walking.
Brenda and Pepsi had good days and they had bad days. Brenda was a first-time dog owner and was also learning that dogs are sensitive creatures that have mood swings just like people. But more importantly, Brenda was learning about herself.
She learned that she hears what she wants to hear and sees what she wants to see.
This is supposed to be a good thing, when you are seeing the positive. But Brenda, like most people, noticed the negative before she noticed the positive and never really saw the progress Pepsi was making from week to week. But she did see his setbacks.
I would often show up at her home and her first words would be, "Oh he was terrible all week, he pulled me from one block to the next." I would then take the leash from Brenda, ask Pepsi to "walk nice" and proceed to point out all of the ways Pepsi was doing great. Brenda would then furrow her brow and ask, "Why is he so good for you but not me?"
This is the time in most of my one-on-one sessions when I say, "Today is the start of your life lesson training."
The main reason Pepsi, and other dogs I work with, are good for me and not their owners is because when I see them, it is all about the boundaries I set. I don't live with these dogs, so these dogs never get a chance to challenge the boundaries in situations that do not involve training.
Brenda admitted that when she walked out the door with Pepsi her first thoughts were not about the dog. Her mind was elsewhere. She did not manage his behaviour from the get-go and Pepsi took advantage of this. He would immediately start leading the walks and it was only when Brenda became frustrated that she began to pay attention to what was going on. By that time, Pepsi had a good five minutes of breaking the rules of walking and doing whatever he wanted.
Brenda's first life lesson was: be present with your dog. Leave your troubles behind and pay attention to what it is you want from your dog.
Brenda's frustration came from Pepsi beginning to pull. She chose not to correct the behaviour because she didn't want to hurt Pepsi's feelings.
Brenda's second life lesson was: detach emotionally and don't take things personally.
Your dog (and people) will treat you how you allow them to. If you want your dog to walk nicely, set that intention from the moment you start the walk, instead of being frustrated at your dog and then yourself for not being able to correct a problem you created.
Brenda and Pepsi's lessons will continue their whole life together. That is the beauty of dogs. If you are truly aware, they are great tools for social and personal change.
Joan has been working with dogs for over 15 years in obedience, tracking and behavioural rehabilitation. Contact her at k9kinship.com.
