Typically she takes charge of cooking one night a week and tonight would have been the night. But not this week.
Her 15-year-old brother Brad has been freed from his regular chores as well.
What's going on? Simple. They are studying for their exams.
One way parents can help kids prepare for their final exams is to free them from their regular household responsibilities so they can focus on studying. Giving them this break also gives the kids the message that you believe their schoolwork is important and you are available to help.
When I was in Grade 12 I had the perfect situation for studying for my final exams. I went to stay with my grandparents. I am the oldest of six siblings and you can imagine that trying to bear down and study in a house with five other kids and two parents could be a bit of a challenge. So I left for a few weeks.
To make things even better, my grandparents instinctively knew what I needed to make this a good experience. My grandmother had taught in a one-room schoolhouse and she must have harkened back to her memories of exams and the stress her students felt. Or maybe, she was simply a wonderful, wise elder. Either way (or both) I was the beneficiary.
Based on that event and my experience talking to hundreds of parents over the years, here are some ways you can reduce the stress for your child and help her to become more effective and efficient in her studies.
Let's face it, June is the final month of the school year and it's also the most stressful. The older the child, the higher the grade they are in, the higher the stress levels. Final marks count, particularly if the student is planning on university, college or another post-secondary institution.
Studying and writing exams is the job of the student. In fact, once kids are getting homework it's theirs, not yours. Your job is to support them but not do their work. It's not up to you to ensure that they learn everything that they need to know. Nagging and pushing will not work and won't teach them how to take responsibility for their own education.
Students with part-time jobs should take the month of June off. Parents can help by insisting on this. You should talk to the kids about this at the point that they are looking for a job. Working can seem very important to our kids and it is, but exams are more important so they need to either quit their job or ask for a leave during this time.
Prepare their favourite meals. Often students get into trouble by not eating properly. It's easier to get the kids to take a healthy break for meals if you're preparing nutritious food that they love. Sit down as a family and enjoy the break. Your child will go back to the books refreshed, refueled and ready to concentrate on her studies. And while we're talking about food, remember snacks. Children get hungry often, so quietly slip in while they're studying and bring a cold drink and cookies (but don't talk!).
Your kids do need some breaks so don't criticize her if she takes a break to watch a favourite TV show. As a matter of fact, if she seems chained to the desk, encourage her to take a break.
Studying is hard work. Understand when they are tired and encourage them to get enough sleep. Pulling all-nighters is rarely a good way to prepare for an exam.
When you reduce their household responsibilities and take on some of their personal tasks such as doing their laundry, it not only gives them time to study, it also demonstrates in a concrete way your commitment to education. They see that you believe so strongly in their studying that you're willing to take on extra work to allow them to focus on their primary task during exam time.
When they head off to school to write their exams, wish them luck.
parentingtoday.ca
