You may be anxious about the new school year but you need to put aside your feelings and give your youngster the support she needs. If she's nervous, acknowledge her feelings, let her know that being anxious is a typical and healthy response. Then help her figure out how to deal with it.
This is the challenge. If you simply say, "Oh don't worry, you'll be just fine" she may feel unsupported or that her anxiety is somehow wrong and bad. But when you hear her and believe her and then help her with strategies to deal with it, you are being realistic and supportive.
The same is true if she is heading to middle school or high school. It's a big step for kids.
If you have a little one starting Kindergarten, she will be concerned about the basics. She'll want to know about the bathroom. Where is it and how does she let the teacher know when she has to go? Remind her that every kid in the class is new and that the teacher knows that.
Besides supporting and preparing her for this new adventure, be sure to celebrate. This is a big and exciting step along the road to maturity. Be excited for her and be optimistic. She needs support but she needs to see that you are excited and positive about her new step forward.
The same is true for any new school. Whether you've moved and the kids have changed schools or they are entering middle school, junior secondary, or senior secondary, they need support.
There's a difference between the children who are moving to the next level of school and likely moving with friends, compared to those who are completely new to the district. While you want the teacher to know that your child comes from another city, remember that all students are new to the teacher. Give both teacher and child a few days to get acquainted and then decide if you need to speak to the teacher and let her know your child is new. Often children do better without our help. Talk to your child about making it in a new place and be sure to welcome all her new friends in your home. You can even hold a party in the first few weeks and include the parents if possible.
A bigger challenge faces the child who had a bad time last term. He will be imagining another horrible year with the same troubles as the previous one. He needs your support to know that things can change. You can say something like: "Some years are more difficult than others. When that happens to me, I prefer to put it behind me and start the new year fresh." Acknowledge that it's easier said than done, but ask him to give the new teacher a chance.
Pay attention because if your son has developed a bad reputation because of happenings in past years, you may have to work with the teacher and possibly the school counselor and principal to support your child's wish to change.
Usually we are so concerned about how our kids are responding to the new school year we can't wait to ask them all about the first day. But hold off. Don't grill them. A simple "Hi, I'm glad to see you" works wonders. They will tell you about their day when they are ready to do so. They may want to wait a few days to see how they really feel about the new school, class, teacher and classmates.
School is such a big part of our child's life that it's important we pay attention to it. Our attitude and support can make all the difference.
Kathy Lynn is a parenting expert who is a professional speaker, broadcaster, columnist and author of Who's In Charge Anyway? and But Nobody Told Me I'd Ever Have to Leave Home. For information or to book Kathy for a speaking engagement, go to her website at www.ParentingToday.ca.
