OF ALL THE MANY CHALLENGES NEW PARENTS FACE, GETTING A FRETFUL BABY TO SLEEP MAY BE AMONG THE MOST TAXING.
A recent study by Cincinnati Children's Hospital found that more than 10 per cent of children under the age of three have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. What's more, a Harvard Medical School study found the parents of these children face substantially higher risks of weight gain, depression, and even diabetes.
But despite these alarming reports, North Vancouver sleep consultant Leslie Black says a solution can be far easier to find than many parents might expect.
"Generally the No.1 question I got was 'How do I get my baby to sleep?'" said Black, who holds a master's degree and worked for six years as a family counselor. "'We need sleep, and we don't know what we're doing.' So I've been helping people out with that for quite a few years. An opportunity arose to be trained by Dana Obleman, who is the creator of the Sleep Sense program, which is a worldwide program."
Black joined a small group of trainees from around the world, and afterwards decided to make it the focus of her practice.
"I see this as such a huge need," she said.
The central idea behind Sleep Sense is that infants have to learn to fall asleep for themselves.
"That requires the baby going into their crib awake," Black said. "Most people like to try and put their baby down asleep so they either feed them to sleep or rock them or bounce them. People can tell you all sorts of the crazy things they've done - driving around and things like that. What happens is that the baby relies on that. We call it a 'sleep prop' - they rely on that prop to get themselves to sleep every time. So throughout the night, they might stir slightly and they don't know how to get themselves back to sleep. A baby who knows how to soothe themselves won't begin to cry or need some sort of intervention from a parent."
But there are several other things a parent can do ahead of time to set the stage for successful sleep patterns. A solidly consistent pre-bed routine is key, as is an appropriate bedtime, which is often earlier than parents think. In most cases, said Black, a baby shouldn't be kept up past 7 p.m.
"Once the baby becomes over-tired, it's next to impossible to get them to sleep. So that's probably one of the worst enemies."
A consistent, dark and soothing sleeping space is also important.
Common mistakes that new parents make include using soothers or a lot of movement to lull their child to dreamland. Busy parents may also fall into the habit of letting their child fall asleep in a car, stroller or some kind of carrier, which can disrupt a consistent sleep routine.
But as Black knows from raising two sons, figuring out what to do with a crying child is a tough challenge. ? adulthood, so it's a good time to check-in, says Chovil.
After a quiz is completed on the website, the user gets feedback based on their quiz responses. The feedback suggests the level the user might be at with a particular condition: mild, moderate or severe.
Depending on that level, the user is then directed to various resources, such as the Anxiety B.C. website or a crisis line, to access self-help tools or further resources. In some cases, if the answers provided indicate a severe level of a condition, such as depression, the user may be directed to speak with someone. The site then provides suggestions for who the user can speak with, including a parent, school counselor, or family doctor.
Chovil notes it is often difficult for teens and young adults to talk to someone about their mental health or substance use concerns, so the website offers a place to take the first step in getting more information, accessing self-help tools, or finding out it may be time to speak with a professional.
She says it can also be difficult for parents and teens to communicate with each other, but recommends parents start the conversation if they are concerned, and direct their teens and young adults to the website as a good first step.
"It's sometimes tough to begin a conversation, but I think if they're concerned at all it's really good to have that conversation, and they might take a few attempts, but (it's) well worth it," says Chovil. "If they have a sense that their child is struggling or feeling really stressed out or whatever the case might be encourage them to go to the site to figure out what's going on," she says.
Although the website does also have tips for parents and friends, Chovil notes it's important for parents to give their kids time and privacy to complete the quizzes on their own.
Mindcheck.ca will soon have a variety of materials available for download, such as posters, that can be printed and used to spread the word about the site.
"Help us let young people know about it," says Chovil.
? "I was like any mom, I didn't really know what to do," said the Edgemont resident. "You know you're going to lose sleep but you don't know what that feels like until you get there. Like any other mom, in the middle of the night you don't know what to do - you're feeding them and rocking them and bouncing them and trying everything and nothing is working. I felt really lost. That's why I jumped at the opportunity to work with Dana Obleman when I got the chance. I had success so quickly I couldn't believe it.
"It's not about leaving them," she continued. "You can be there, and there can be interventions. But what you're not doing is putting them to sleep. So a parent could be talking, or singing, or occasionally patting their tummy or their head. They're not doing it to the point where they are making the baby go to sleep, but they are not leaving them."
The dividends are huge, said Black - children that are more alert, curious and happy, as well as parents that are healthier and more relaxed. What's more, these sleep skills can last a lifetime.
Black consults with families both at her Edgemont Village office and in her clients' homes.
For more information call 604-984-0116 or visit akissgoodnight.ca.
