There seems to be a growing epidemic in the new-age dog world.
The epidemic is excessive canine greeting behaviour. It arises when a dog owner feels the need to have their dog meet and greet every single dog they see while out on a walk, disregarding whether or not the two dogs actually want to greet.
Many first-time and new age dog owners seem to be under the impression that all dogs want to meet other dogs simply because they are dogs.
Well that's not the case. Sometimes dogs just don't want to be bugged by another dog. As responsible and aware dog owners, we need to acknowledge this by knowing and respecting the body language of a dog that does not want to say hello, despite our encouragement.
I know it seems hard to believe, let alone understand, that dogs may not want to say hello to one another, but it's true. They really are not much different from humans in that regard.
As a human being, I consider myself a well-socialized person. In one day, I may see 50 or more people whom I will exhibit proper social behaviour towards. I will say "excuse me," "please" and "thank you," and "I'm sorry." I will open doors for people regardless of their age, gender or physical ability. I will never impinge on another person's personal space by using my cellphone in public (especially on speaker phone - please stop doing this humans!) and I am always on time.
I will be cordial and polite during all of my daily impersonal interactions with the public. What I will not do is invade their personal space uninvited and greet them with unsolicited affection and play. I doubt anyone would! But here's the thing: not one person I see during my day would care if I didn't engage in what a human would consider an odd, even neurotic greeting behaviour. Not one of them would get upset that I didn't ask how their day was or think I was rude for not giving them an affectionate hug and kiss. When I pass someone on the sidewalk without stopping to say hello, they don't stop and say, "Hey, hey you in the pink jacket and cowboy boots! You didn't say hello to me, what's wrong with you? Didn't you see me looking at you? Are you unsocialized? Are you aggressive? Are you afraid?"
But with our dogs, we kind of do that. In a way, we expect dogs to say hello to pretty much every dog that walks by, whether that dog shows an interest or not. It's really unfair to both dogs.
It's unfair because when a dog shows another dog clear body language that indicates it is not interested in saying hello, and we ignore this body language and force the greeting, it causes both dogs undue stress and anxiety. When a dog owner continues to misread and ignore a dog's disinterest in saying hello, the stress and anxiety has the potential to turn into aggression and now we have a problem when there was not one before.
It is completely normal for a dog to not want to say hello to another dog. It does not mean it is anti-social, aggressive, timid or afraid - it just doesn't want to say hello. Just like us humans. There is nothing wrong.
When a dog is uninterested in greeting, it is very obvious. It will not look at the approaching dog and will turn its head, then its shoulders and eventually its back from the other dog. It will show no curiosity in the other dog, no desire to approach and will show no body language of invitation.
Respect that. There is nothing wrong, other than the dog does not want to greet. Don't judge, just move on.
Part of proper and healthy social behaviour is accepting that sometimes dogs do not want to meet one another. By understanding this, we continue to allow healthy, respectful communication between dogs, which in turn is healthy, respectful social behaviour.
Joan Klucha has been working with dogs for more than 15 years in obedience, tracking and behavioural rehabilitation. Contact her at [email protected].
