Today I offer further proof that all of life’s great lessons are learned with beer.
It’s the sweet nectar that can guide us to answers to many of our most perplexing questions. Questions such as: Where is the bathroom? Whose shoes am I wearing? and What are you looking at?
This summer, beer has taught me the importance of broadening my horizons and trying new things. Life is short, you know? Sometimes you just need to grab the bull by the horns and ask it to pour you something new to drink. None of that Coors Light B.S., you stupid bull!
I used to have a lot of types of beer that were on my do-not-drink list. At the start of the craft beer boom even the beloved India Pale Ale was on that list.
“What’s the deal with these bitter IPAs that all the bearded weirdos are drinking?” I asked my craft connoisseur buddy one day. “It’s the 21st century – I don’t need my beer to make it to Asia on a sailboat.”
His response was polite and soothing, much the same way as you’d reply to a drunk grizzly bear.
I look back on those days with shame – soon after I tried some IPAs and realized that drinking a good IPA is like downing a pint of rainbow-asteroid-fireworks-magic dipped in butter and served by a unicorn. It’s liquid perfection.
This summer I tried more of the beers on my do-not-drink list. The results tested positive for awesome. Here are a few of the highlights from the summer of broadened horizons:
Sours
The term sour beer was one that just never made sense to me. It was like sticking two words together that had no business being beside each other, like dromedary pizza, gorgonzola airplane, or President Trump.
A few years back, sour beers became the darlings of the craft beer world, leading to the following scene played out in tasting rooms the world over:
Brewer: “Try our new sour!”
Customer: “Wow, it really is sour!”
Brewer: “Would you like to buy one?”
Customer: (Jumps out window).
But either I’ve had a stroke that affected only my taste buds, or brewers have gotten better at making sours. There are a few on the market that are winning a lot of fans, led by Nectarous from Delta’s Four Winds Brewing. Last year it earned the People’s Choice Award at the British Columbia Beer Awards, and on beeradvocate.com it has tallied a user rating of 95 out of 100, putting it into the site’s “world class” category.
Try a good sour yourself. It’s even a great beer for a date: it’s interesting to talk about, and you’re guaranteed that you’ll see your friend pucker up.
Fruit beer
My father raised me right, teaching me to respect women, watch Mel Brooks movies, and never drink beer with fruit in it. Not so long ago, though, I tried the Bourbon Blood Orange wheat ale from North Vancouver’s Bridge Brewing Co. and it became an immediate favourite. It never even crossed my mind that it could be construed as a “fruit” beer, but I suppose the first two words in the name were so awesome – Patrick Swayze’s character in Road House no doubt had “bourbon” and “blood” tattooed somewhere under all that denim – that I completely missed the fact that the third word was a fruit.
Then when my father came to visit I offered it to him and I could sense his tepid interest. His fruit alarm was going off, so I substituted in one of his preferred brown ales. Later we went to the brewery and I let him choose our growler fill after we tried every drink in the joint. He picked the BBO!
My dad picking a “fruit” beer? What a world we live in.
Radlers
OK, now we’re getting into dangerous territory. The Radler – a mix of beer and lemonade or grapefruit juice – swept onto the scene last year. I ignored it of course, but last month bought a mixer case without realizing that it contained three Radlers. Noooo! Then the thermometer hit
30 oC, I cracked a Radler and fell in love again.
I couldn’t convince my father to try one – although I did convince him not to disown me for my Radler use – but pretty much everyone else I encountered over the summer Radled onto the bandwagon with me. A warning, though – Radlers are weather dependent, so get ’em while it’s hot.
So that’s the list, and the lesson: new things can be good! I wouldn’t, however, recommend trying any recreational drugs these days given the whole fentanyl thing. Drug dealers appear to be content to kill all their customers – it’s a bold strategy, it’ll be interesting to see how it works out.
Oh, and Coors Light – don’t try that either. I actually have a sixer in my fridge right now, left by a friend. He happens to have serious dietary restrictions, and I applaud his efforts to find a beer that works for him, no matter the corn-syrup content. I just wouldn’t wish that on anyone else. I mean, don’t get me wrong – I’m going to drink them.
But I won’t enjoy them.
Alright, I’ll enjoy them just fine. Just don’t tell my dad!
Andy Prest is the sports editor for the North Shore News and writes a biweekly humour/lifestyle column. [email protected]
What are your thoughts? Send us a letter via email by clicking here or post a comment below.
