New Year’s resolutions can be tricky to choose, let alone keep, but sometimes inspiration tips onto you and pins you to the floor like a stylish and affordable Ikea dresser.
The dresser in question was a Hemnes model (Swedish for “tipsy bottoms”) and it toppled its way into the news this week when Brock and Bowdy Shoff, twin toddlers from Utah, managed to pull it down, pinning young Brock underneath. Security camera video released by the boys’ father shows two-year-old Bowdy surveying the situation – whilst crawling back on top of the empty dresser for a moment, as any helpful brother would do – before hopping off and heroically pushing it away from his screaming brother, freeing him from harm.
It’s a stirring video that, given the time of year, prompted an obvious New Year’s resolution for me: do less work around the house.
Let me explain. When my eldest son was about three years old and my youngest just a baby, I read an article written by a parenting expert who heaped praise upon child-rearing techniques employed by parents in France. I can’t remember the exact science behind the technique – I assume it had something to do with teaching children how to surrender – but one image stuck with me.
The article described a French mother in her kitchen casually going about her adult French business – tasting wines, being unhelpful to tourists – while her four-year-old daughter quietly sat nearby preparing a tray of muffins for baking.
Other parenting textbooks I read – and by “read” I mean my wife described to me while I watched Game of Thrones – advised including children in household chores from a young age so that they’d grow up knowing that everyone has a responsibility to help out around the house. And I believe there was also something about an army of dragons?
As your typical Canadian male, though, my home life generally consists of doing everything in my power to avoid housework. It’s right in there on the genetic code next to other fundamentals such as producing heirs, grilling steaks, and trapping steak farts under the covers.
So, was this the solution for everything? Putting the kids to work? We could do that, I thought to myself. We could raise our kids to be self-sufficient go-getters, calmly taking care of themselves while we went about our adult Canadian business of apologizing when other people bump into us, getting pucks to the net, and preparing for the inevitable Donald Trump invasion. (“Canada used to be so great, now it’s a disaster. All that snow, must be hiding something. Sad! Trump will take it over, make it part of my great nation: Russia.”)
When I read about the muffins, my mind raced as I envisioned my own son gaining the wherewithal in just one year’s time to take care of himself while also providing me with fresh baking.
At that point in his life the only things he was cooking up were new ways to sit on his baby brother, but that article gave me hope. Compounding my excitement was the fact that my wife spoke only French to my children – voilà, a sure ticket to muffin town!
One year later, I was shocked and saddened to discover that not only was my son not able to raise himself, but he couldn’t bake worth a damn. I mean, there was that marble truffle cheesecake he made, but what was he thinking topping it off with lemon ganache? Non merci.
A couple more years have passed and my two boys, now age six and three, are charming little fellows but they still are pretty reluctant to step up and take care of basic household tasks such as preparing lunches and installing weather stripping. I was getting discouraged, but then saw the Utah toddlers and it reminded me that whether it’s making muffins or moving furniture, children can be surprisingly useful.
Over the holiday break this feeling was reinforced when my wife came up with the brilliant plan of tasking my son with preparing breakfast for himself and his little brother while we slept off a long night filled with Christmas cheer (sometimes known by its street name: wine). A few days later I marvelled at the resolve both boys showed as they spent an hour chipping ice off the sidewalk and shovelling it clear. It was legitimately tough work, and they loved it. They even love to clean the house, when the mood strikes, and my six-year-old is actually much better at it than I am. Must be some sort of genetic mutation.
So here’s the resolution: I’m going to selflessly encourage my children to grow and develop as responsible citizens by getting them to do more and more work around the house. I will supervise this life-affirming development from a strategic location on or near the couch.
I will continue to handle all steak-related duties, although I’ll leave it up to my wife to deal with what gets trapped under the covers.
Change is in the air, folks. You can smell it. Happy New Year!
Andy Prest is the sports editor for the North Shore News and writes a biweekly humour/lifestyle column. [email protected]
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