What’s the secret to happiness?
It’s a big question and one that is asked a billion times over on the news, on socials and in our darkest thoughts.
We’ve all seen those reels that claim happiness is about a clear mind, cleaning out our closets and polishing windows as a metaphor for clarity. No thanks.
Some talk about gratitudes in the morning and drinking litres of water all day. Hell, no.
And don’t get me started on listicles (10 Ways to Lead a Happy Life). More like ten ways of losing our minds.
My question was prompted after I recently met Eckhart Tolle on the Harbour Air to Salt Spring Island. I once went to a talk of his, so I recognized him. If you’re not sure who I’m referring to, he’s a visionary spiritual teacher.
He wrote the bestselling books The Power of Now and A New Earth, and Oprah is a big fan.
Tolle’s answer to the “big question” is that much of our unhappiness is created by our minds.
If we can deal with that, then happiness will ensue.
There’s an unconscious misconception that the world has the ability to make us happy, but it’s being withheld from us. We’re left to wonder why the universe is withholding happiness when it appears to be dishing it out to everyone else. Look – they’re all eating amazing things on giant plates in incredible places on Instagram.
Even their feet gleam in the light of that sunset.
Tolle says that life is not here to make us happy, but to make us conscious, to waken us.
We grow as people by being challenged by obstacles and difficulties, which creates new energy. That energy makes us stronger.
And as we get stronger, our minds won’t throw us so many negative interpretations.
So, being in the present moment is a kind of portal out of suffering.
I read about a study involving thousands of people in Denmark, a country that ranks amongst the happiest in the world.
I do like the sound of this country. The cool, modernist furniture. The communities of single people who help each other and knit things. Hans Christian Andersen. I mean, who wouldn’t be happy where you can encounter magic in a troll forest of warped trees?
The survey says the single most important factor for its respondents’ happiness was social connection, even a quick chat in the grocery store or a “hello” to a random neighbour in the street.
The highest happiness score was for a small town called Knebel.
It’s a place surrounded by beautiful nature, close to the water, with a thriving community-based scene. All things that are also important to our overall happiness. Sound familiar?
We have all of that right here.
We are spoiled for choice on parks, beaches, hiking trails, mountains, as well as community events and activities. I don’t need to list them. We know about them.
All we need to do is be present in them and immerse ourselves in our communities a bit more. Fairly straightforward, right?
Many of us have economic challenges these days. Fortunately, happiness is not related to financial status.
It’s more about relationships, what we do for fun and taking care of each other. Social connections keep us happier and healthier in the mind and body.
Ever looked through old photos and felt emotional because you all look so happy in them?
All those moments captured with smiley people, at birthdays, hiking days, vacations, family events.
How will you feel in ten years’ time looking at a photo that was taken this week? Or even taken right this minute?
Think about it.
Denmark has a word we don’t have. It’s hygge (pronounced “hoo-ga”). It means cosiness, contentment and well-being. I think we have hygge here in spades.
And I’ve heard that if you walk far enough into the North Shore trails, beyond the marked paths, up and further up, there’s a troll forest of warped trees.
I wouldn’t mind being present there. Anyone want to join me?
North Vancouver’s Jackie Bateman is an award-winning author, screenwriter, copywriter, and extremely nosy if you get too close. [email protected]
