Dear Editor:
It is nearly Halloween and a word of warning to all who dare venture out onto our roads.
Beware the zombie driver! The sun is setting earlier, and though these spooky creatures are a year round phenomenon, it is when it is dark and rainy that we could fall prey to the undead among us. Of course these are not the only frightening beings out there, but their numbers are significant.
You will recognize a zombie behind the wheel as they will speed through intersections, marked crosswalks, stop signs and traffic lights. Sometimes there is a glimmer of life and the zombie will try to stop their car. Unfortunately they often mistake the accelerator for the brakes, so next time one speeds up at you, have some sympathy. You may even get a saggy little wave of the arm, as they drive over your toes.
Even if you make eye contact, remember that they cannot see you. You would do better making eye contact with the local wildlife. At least there you may get a reaction. As forn bright clothing, lights, bells and whistles, you can wear them all, however you are still at risk.
So we ask ourselves how do we go out and stay safe? Well by all means don a battery pack and buy some of the Christmas tree lights that are already in our stores to wrap around you. However when crossing any road, make sure that the drivers have actually come to a stop. This is a sign that it may be safe to proceed and the driver has not crossed over to the dark side.
Do, however, watch out for a zombie coming from the opposite direction. They are most likely destroying their last remaining brain cells, with a cellphone clamped to an ear and as we now know are unable to operate the brakes of their car.
Do not ever step out in front of a speeding vehicle, in a vain effort to force a zombie into stopping or even slowing down. That is tantamount to a death wish.
As for all the smug cyclists and pedestrians, be afraid, be very afraid as there are zombies among you too.
Margot Brassil
North Vancouver
