Dear Editor:
Come on, guys. Clean up your own leaves and don’t make a mess on the street for others to clean up. Blowing your garden waste out on the street and washing it down the hill is not cool. Drains need to remain free for water from the local monsoons or melting snows. In addition, a mat of squashed leaves is dangerously slippery for both cars and pedestrians.
But don’t despair, all is not lost because you have the power to change all that. Here’s your chance to grab onto a new exciting tool called a rake and participate in aerobic raking, or better yet, get on top of the newest cutting edge exercise trend, “leaf yoga.” True power yoga taken to the next level designed to nurture joy in yourself, have peace in our time and stay focused on the here and now.
Leaf yoga, with small intimate one-on-one classes conducted in a familiar convenient setting, your own front lawn. A true homage to traditional gardening, but in an au courant format. Leaf yoga has zero carbon footprint and no embedded energy, so now you too can apply for some of those magical mythical carbon credits the bureaucrats are always going on and on and on about. Just think of how environmentally sensitive you will be when you make the organic, environmentally sensitive choice not to drive your gas guzzling SUV to yoga classes at the recreation centre.
The newest leaf yoga pose is the “leg high, mountain down, handle up, leafed right out” that really does wonders for the legs, thighs, tummy and arms. Now you too can stride around the mall or peddle your bike through the rain radiating a justified air of superiority. Picture yourself in your Solea De Cordoba mucho chica yoga pants, and sticking out of your rolled up yoga mat is your custom- made, collapsible titanium yoga rake, a steal at $300, just to show everyone how not only do you do regular yoga, but in addition you are willing to spend whatever it takes to do cutting edge, avant-garde, uber om leaf yoga, the natural alternative to leaf blowers. Leaf Yoga is healthy, organic and sustainable with a net negative energy budget.
The inspired alternative to hot yoga taken to the next level demonstrates your commitment to composting and truly being at one with nature. Leaf yoga is an activity worthy of at least a silver LEED for LEAFS certification. So put your leaf blower back in the garage, let there be peace in the valley and get healthy. You’ve got the power to save the power, be idle no more, reduce noise pollution and be part the solution.
Bruce Lindsay
Upper Lonsdale
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