We’re coming up on one of the biggest calendar flips of the year, August to September. Do you love that or hate that?
Your answer might say a lot about you and what you consider a good time. Beach blanket or back-to-school – what gets you fired up?
This line of questioning ignited a great dinner table debate at my place, and I’d like to bring you into it. What is the best month? Here are my rankings (based on Canadian stat holidays – no consideration to birthdays! – with Vancouver weather as the standard), starting with the worst month of them all.
November: I tried to keep this month out of last place out of respect for our noble veterans, but the numbers just don’t lie. November just gets darker and darker, and, in Vancouver at least, wetter and wetter. There’s one holiday in November. An important one? Yes. Fun? No. So yes, thank you for your sacrifices – you fought for our freedom to complain about the rain.
January: This one feels like it should be higher too, but I just couldn’t make it work. It obviously starts with a bang, but if you look past the excitement of resolutions and the end of holidays, you’re left with a month that drags on into cold and wet darkness. Scientists have deemed the third Monday of January as the “saddest day of the year” – something we all can look forward to. It’s the hangover of months.
February: Another winter month near the bottom. Maybe this list would be different if we were skiers? Valentine’s Day and Family Day both provide some contrived fun, and the Winter Olympics pop every four years. But the cold, dark and rain really limits the possibilities once you’ve finished your heart-shaped box of chocolates. On the other hand, February is really short. That helps.
September: Split vote here, as the kids said September is easily a bottom three month while my wife was much happier with back-to-school vibes (maybe those two things are related?). I’m torn too. The weather is still mostly great, but the big vacations are over. Back-to-work means you get to see your friends and get back into a routine again, but it’s not all beaches and ice cream. If September was a day of the week, it would be Monday. “September sucks,” my kids say. I get it.
March: Controversial one here too. I’m a big March fan – March Madness basketball, March break, the coming of spring. But two of my family members did not hesitate to call March the “worst” month. You’re caught between seasons, with winter sports are over but spring hasn’t really sprung. The school year is really starting to drag – “everyone is feral” my wife says of the March mood, adding that the combo of rain, mud and melting snow makes March “brown.”
April: I feel bad putting April in the bottom half, but here we are. Another tweener, as we’re not stuck in the winter blahs, but we’re not getting the full summer effects just yet either. Don’t be mad, April. You’re good, just not great.
October: We’re into the top half now with a month that features a steady decline in weather and daylight hours but makes up for it in personality. Thanksgiving and Halloween is a heck of a one-two punch. Put on a sweater, grab your gravy and smoother it all over your turkey and mashed potatoes. Then dress up as a spooky ghost and have a big party! NHL starts, NBA starts, football is rolling, the World Series! That’s a quality month.
May: Now we’re heating up! Should we get the barbecue going? Maybe they have a patio table open? How about an evening baseball game that doesn’t require toques and parkas? We’re so close.
December: I’m going to get hate mail for keeping this banger of a month out of the top three. It’s cold, wet and dark, but that hardly seems to matter with everything so merry and bright! The last two weeks of December, from a few days before Christmas to the last second of the month on New Year’s Eve, are just a blur of gifts, tinsel, cheese, chocolate, booze, fondues and a midday snooze. It really is incredible that we’ve brought so much light to the darkest month of the year. A Christmas miracle!
August: This somehow feels too low as well. Only third place? August is so great! Sunshine! Vacation! Jump in the ocean on a Tuesday morning and then read a book without a care in the world! The only thing holding it back is what comes next. August is the Sunday of months.
June: To my surprise, a couple of my family members, with no hesitation, picked June as the greatest month. School is still in, but it’s not really school, is it? Should we finish our math, or should we go out and play baseball!?! My wife claims the anticipation of summer is even more exciting than the sweaty reality of summer itself. You’re “on the edge of something great.” If we’re going to continue the days of the week theme, June is Friday. Everyone loves Friday.
July: And here’s Saturday. This is what we’ve been waiting for! The beach, the sun, the camping, the water park. We made it! And you’re telling me we get an Olympics or World Cup every other July? Perfection. I know some people don’t like the heat or miss the work routine – please put your complaints in a bottle and float it down the river where I can read it while having the time of my life on a big floating unicorn.
There’s the list. Feel free to let me know where you disagree. If I don’t get back to you, it’s because we’re not in September yet.
Andy Prest is the editor of the North Shore News and author of a regular humour/lifestyle column.
