You’ve been home for weeks now with your kids — the messes, whining and lack of privacy can all add up — so can you still find those moments of parenthood joy?
The answer is definitely yes, according to an SFU associate psychology professor who specializes in the development of children from zero to six.
With families facing increasing stress due to the COVID-19 pandemic, financial challenges, child care and home schooling, many parents may be feeling a bit like Jack Torrance in The Shining.
But before cabin fever sets in, Tanya Broesch suggests looking at the silver lining wrought by staying home together.
Feelings of connectedness and a general slowing down of an otherwise busy, hyper-social life can be good for the psyche.
“It’s not great that this is happening. It’s pretty awful, but it can be a good time for kids. For example, my kids are getting to know each other more, they are working it out,” said Broesch, who like many moms is working at home with kids in the house.
While anxiety is an issue, and children can sense when parents are distracted, Broesch advises parents to be open and honest about what’s going on, keeping in mind their children’s ability to understand the issues.
“The best guideline I can offer is: facts not fear,” she said.
Parents may also be feeling pressure to homeschool their kids. But Broesch suggests teaching them life skills, such as doing chores, cooking, gardening, grocery shopping (online) and budgeting may be equally if not more important than schooling them in long-division.
For the younger children, Broesch recommends doing tasks together, encouraging children to choose the groceries, for example, while older youngsters can keep up their social networks online — but for a useful purpose, such as a study group.
“We never really ask them to do a lot because it took more work,” Broesch acknowledged.
With many resources online to help families navigate this new world, including help for mental health challenges, parents don’t have to go far for advice.
And when possible, parents should take time for themselves.
It goes without saying that parents need to be in good physical and mental health to be able to support their loved-ones.
Reduce the length of the to-do list and just spend time enjoying one another, even if it’s just for 10 minutes.
“I don’t want to put more pressure on parents, [children] need a secure base, they need to know there is someone that is the rock, and even if that rock isn’t so solid, showing them that you care about them, that’s what’s important,” said Broesch.
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