TODAY, I am taking the liberty of devoting my column to a question that I feel is not, and has not been, asked often enough: As a community, what do we do about underage drinking?
Rather, the question is, "What should we do?"
The "should" in the question invokes an appeal to a code, be it moral, ethical or legal. People sometimes shy away from discussing these codes: they are difficult, sometimes unpleasant, and often mean some sort of restriction on freedom. For teens, these restrictions are usually put into place by the hand of a loving, moral, ethical, law-abiding parent. In this context, parenting is a job for heroes - really - a job that requires perseverance, bravery, wisdom and a healthy dose of moxie.
Parents are not allowed to opt out of this duty. Some do. "Kids will be kids," I have heard these parents say with disregard. Yes, they are the exception, the frustrating few whose children run amok, smashing fences, fighting others in drunken teenage skirmishes, or worse. Join one of us on patrol on a summer's Friday night, and you will meet them too.
The majority, however, are our neighbours, our friends, our co-workers; good, hardworking parents who do their level best to make the right choices. They protect and nurture their children, ensuring they learn important lessons on the way to adulthood, lessons that teach them to be good people, and good parents, themselves.
Yet some of these good parents participate in an activity that I find troublesome, even disturbing. It is the sanctioned party, the hosted underage drinking event. At these gatherings, parents allow teens to drink under their supervision in their homes. They see it as managing risk: "If they're drinking here," they say, "then at least I know they're safe."
Legally speaking, this is against the law. Section 33 of the B.C. Liquor Control and Licensing Act prohibits providing alcohol to any minor, or even permitting a minor to drink in your home. The only exception is if it is your own child. Otherwise, contravention results in a court appearance and minimum $500 fine.
There are additional risks. If you give alcohol to a minor who is not your child, or let any other minor drink in your home, then you may also be held civilly liable for any damage or injury that results from that young person's behaviour, even if it occurs well after they have left your house.
For example, a landmark decision in Victoria in 2002 found parents of a teen whose friend was brain-injured in a drunk-driving accident after leaving a house party at their home, liable for $2.5 million in damages. If a drunken youth falls in your home because of a loose railing, you can be sued; if your 16-year-old son's friends start jumping off the balcony, as 16-year-old boys will do, then you had better be prepared to call the police to make them stop, because that is how far the courts seem to think you need to go to ensure drunken risk-takers do not hurt themselves on your property.
Many parents already know this, and so here is the point that we really need to discuss. Parents do this because they want to control the risk for something they feel is inevitable; that kids will drink liquor, and that if parents do not let them do it at home, then the kids will just sneak off and do it somewhere more dangerous where they can fall off a cliff or get hit by a car.
Yet, to believe the host's home is a place of inviolable safety is foolish. We frequently investigate sexual assaults that happen at parties such as these, often while parents are upstairs sleeping or watching a movie. It begs the question: if you are chaperoning, are you there in the room with the kids the whole time, monitoring their behaviour? We often deal with kids who use other drugs at these parties as well. Any cop will confirm for you that alcohol and drugs commonly go hand in hand. Violent assaults occur too, and not just between guests. Like bees to fresh flowers, uninvited teen troublemakers and young adults in their 20s are attracted to these gatherings. These are often violent, weapon-toting males who crash parties and start fights with youths and parents alike. Ask some teens who have experienced this, and they will tell you how scary it is.
True, some of these parties do remain peaceful. But underlying the risks is an immutable fact: Parents who host or support these parties are plainly condoning unlawful behaviour. Parents who do this are saying, "In this instance, my beliefs are more important than what the law says."
I understand their reasoning, that it's a sensible compromise for the greater good. But this thinking is based on a fundamental error: that an individual may justifiably trump the rules that apply to everyone else, simply because they believe they know what is best. I do not believe that this is for the greater good at all, and not just because it undermines the architecture of order that ensures our society remains peaceful and fair.
Modelling such behaviour also has damaging effects on the development of a child's own sense of right and wrong, on his or her individual understanding of civic responsibility. We do not accept such rule-breaking ideals from our children, and we remind them of that every day. Engaging in it ourselves is surely sending them a confusing message. Our kids are watching us, following our lead, taking cues from our actions. How can we as parents boldly model something that is just plain wrong? We cannot. We must not - as hard as it may be.
Upholding these boundaries and enforcing these rules is primarily the responsibility of parents. However, the rest of us have an equal responsibility to help, too. As a community, we need to contribute collectively to raising our children. Yes, we, the police, have to enforce the laws. But as a community, we should all participate in educating parents and youths about the risks of underage drinking. We bear an obligation to address in a unified manner the social, medical, psychological and emotional issues that underlie the difficulties parents face in raising children. We have to work together to - and read this twice because it is absolutely vital - develop positive community-based alternatives to alcohol.
We must stop youths from drinking alcohol in these unlawful ways. Full stop. We owe it to our community. We owe it to our children.
Peter DeVries District West Response Sergeant North Vancouver RCMP Follow Peter on Twitter at www. twitter.com/rcmpdevries
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