"Aw, is that your family? That's adorable," said the sweet woman handing me the keys to a new Ford Focus. If only she knew.
The good people at Ford were letting us take the car to Cultus Lake for the day and hooking us up with road trip supplies and entertainment options so that we could learn and share just how much fun can be had in this little corner of the province.
A new survey commissioned by Ford revealed that Vancouverites were considering high gas prices when planning their road trips this year and looking to stay close to home. We were tasked with scoping out Cultus Lake and reporting back.
My wife and two kids, both under four, waited in our old hatchback as I was shown the ins and outs of the Focus, a very sharp-looking car that was stocked with a heck of a lot of high-tech stuff for a car priced at less than $30,000.
The woman waved to my family and then departed, leaving us in charge of the Focus. That's when my wife popped out of our old car and handed me a paper cup filled with warm liquid.
"He couldn't wait," she said. And thus was created what would be the theme of this road trip: "Don't get any pee on the new car!"
The next day we set out after first loading up on road trip essentials like terrible magazines, beef jerky and breakfast smoothies. Kids loooove smoothies, but in retrospect, this was maybe not the best idea at the start of a day full of driving.
The cabin of the Focus was a little snug, the two car seats taking up much of the rear space and pushing the front seats fairly close to the dash. But oh, the trunk. My wife couldn't stop raving about how much stuff fit in the trunk. She made me take a picture.Once we hit the highway I enjoyed punching the engine into action.
"Daddy, you're driving fast." "Yes I am, son. Yes I am."
And my wife settled in for a nice long game of "push every button."
Our old car comes from a simpler time, and so there was a real thrill in testing out a new model, programming the navigation system, listening to every single Sirius radio station and finally figuring out what the heck Bluetooth means.
We hadn't even made it over the Port Mann Bridge, however, when the first alarm bell went off. "Daddy, I need to pee!"Evasive manoeuvres! Find a safe port! Go, go, go! We got off the highway and zipped through a maze of roads looking for somewhere, anywhere to get some relief. The Focus was pretty quick, but nothing in the world is faster than a young child's bladder going from zero to 100.
Phew, we made it. Children happy, car still pristine. But where were we? Somewhere in one of the Coquitlams? Alaska? Luckily the navigation system lady kept her cool and politely guided us back onto her carefully planned course.
After a lovely drive past some of my sons' favourite things - cows, tractors, excavators, dinosaurs playing golf - we arrived at Cultus Lake and scored some delicious lunch at J. Beethoven's Pizza, a local favourite that does pizza the way I like it: thick, meaty and drowning in cheese. No fru-fru flatbread here, this is the good stuff.
The only problem was there was no change table for the littlest one. This put the Focus back in the line of fire as my wife used the ample trunk as a makeshift change table. Anyone with a little baby boy knows that they are equipped with tremendous fire hoses that always seem to go off the second that they are exposed to open air.
This time, however, the little fireman kept his hose in check. Phew again. And my wife reports that the big, flat trunk of a Ford Focus is just the right height for diaper changing, in case you were wondering about such things.
Next we hit the beach, gobbling down our snacks while the kids toddled along the dock. It was a chilly, cloudy day, so sadly there was no swimming. There certainly were lots of geese though. The kids loved watching the geese almost as much as they loved giving us heart attacks by nearly stepping in big piles of goose poo over and over again. Honk!
Nearly funned out, we piled back into the car to take a cruise around the lake. The scenery was lovely, and both kids oohed and aahed and then fell asleep. Here came alarm No. 3, a code red as one of the boys woke up suddenly with the ghosts of smoothies past coming back to haunt him.
"Pee," he whispered.
Where can we stop? Oh wait, too late. Code yellow. Sorry Focus. Don't worry though, Ford people. Pants and car seat sopped it all up, leaving the Focus pristine.
Onward with two tuckered children (and two pretty tuckered parents as well). Nearing home we finished up with one of the greatest parts of any road trip - the end of travel take-out feast. No one should have to cook or do dishes at the end of a trip.
We vowed to return to Cultus Lake when the kids are a little older and the sun is a little brighter. The cabins and camping looked like bliss and the giant Cultus Lake Water Park is, well, giant. One day I will tame you, water park.
As for the Focus, I used to own a Ford Ranger back in the 1990s, so this was like going for a spin in my old truck's much faster and fancier brother. From the future. A camera to show you where you are backing up? What is this, The Jetsons? I think my son gave it his full stamp of approval when he said, "Daddy, I'm not scared of the red car." That's high praise coming from someone who is three feet tall.
The only question left, I guess, is this: Is the red car scared of us?
This story originally appeared in the North Shore News special section called Car Care, which focuses on automotive topics.
