Spending time together as a family is important.
It increases attachment and bonding, which lead to increased happiness, better communication skills, better school performance, less behavioral problems and better overall health.
"Quantity time" is not enough. If the time you spend together is simply being in the same room but not interacting, there isn’t much benefit. It is important that the time spent together involves interacting through talking or playing. Families should spend time engaging with one another, not just watching TV or playing on phones.
Sit down to dinner together, play board games, cook meals with one another, engage in physical activity or volunteer. Any activity that a family enjoys is great when it involves plenty of verbal and physical interaction.
Engaging with your kids means giving them undivided attention. If you are distracted by your phone, your kids know it and feel it. When children feel ignored, they resort to undesired behaviours in order to get your attention.
Many parents are frustrated when their children ignore them, but parents are frequently role modeling this behaviour to their children. That is why it is important to carve out some time each day to provide children with undivided attention. In this busy world it can be difficult, but you could start with 10 minutes and build from there.
Prioritize and make time for the things that matter most, such as your kids and family. That may mean cutting down on individual activities, errands and/or other commitments to be together and to show each family member they are valued.
Your undivided attention will always be the most valuable thing you can give your child.
It is great for kids to have one-on-one time with their parents when possible. In families with multiple children, this may not be possible every day. Scheduling special time with each child is a great idea. It doesn’t need to be extravagant. Even 10 minutes of reading books, going for a walk or having a meal together can be enough.
Parents are the most important role models in their children’s lives. Through their actions, they teach children important social skills, such as how to be friendly, kind and compassionate. Parents can also show kids how to have healthy relationships, how to interact and problem solve with others, among many more emotional skills.
Parents also benefit from spending time with their kids. Children make parents slow down. Playing with your child allows you to act silly, to laugh and to forgot about your other chores. Children can remind parents to have fun, and that is a very healthy thing.
A family has to work as a unit. Spending time together helps to strengthen that unit, and gives parents an opportunity to teach their kids about sharing, co-operation, patience, and considering others.
Leslie Black is a registered clinical counsellor and certified Sleep Sense consultant with more than eight years experience working with families on the North Shore.
This story originally appeared in the North Shore News Family Day special section.
