I was making a quick stop on the way home to grab a bottle of wine when, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a mini van pulling into the parking stall in front of the veterinary office located beside the liquor store.
For some reason I felt compelled to watch what was going on as the sliding door of the mini van opened and a very thin, frail senior dog stepped out of the van. An equally frail owner then followed the dog and the two of them gingerly made their way into the veterinary office. I turned my gaze away and felt a lump grow in my throat. I couldn't help but think that this could be that dog's final moments in this world. My chest tightened and tears stung my eyes. This is by far the hardest part of loving these creatures.
Making the decision to euthanize a pet is the most difficult thing an owner will have to face during their lifetime with their dog. But like every living moment with our dogs, it is a gift, no matter how hard, from them to us. We just have to listen and learn. Having gone through this a few times in my life, it never gets easier and in a way, I am grateful for that. Because if it did get easy then it would mean that my heart had turned to stone and my dogs' lessons have been lost.
The biggest question we ask ourselves during this time is, "But how do you know when it's time?" It's a genuinely heart-wrenching question filled with the angst of, "Am I doing the right thing? Is it too soon? Is it too late? Will my dog hate me? Am I being selfish keeping him alive? Am I being selfish euthanizing her? Why is the decision to end my dog's life up to me?" My answer to this is: you just know. If you are able to remain calm, your intuition takes over, your ego gets quiet and, at the risk of sounding corny, it feels like you are sharing one spirit with your dog. Your questions are answered and there is an undeniable feeling of serene peacefulness within you. Learning to find and trust your intuition is one of the gifts from our dogs at this time.
As owners of these amazing animals I think that we are stewards of their life and death. We have been given the blessing of sharing a life with them and with that comes the responsibility of helping them transition from life to afterlife when the time calls, with all of the dramatic emotions of fear and confusion that come with it. Leaving this part to someone else in a sterile environment is a coward's way out and your dog's lesson is lost.
I personally don't believe that dogs have a fear of death the same way that humans do. They live their lives so much more richly than we do, a richness that comes from the heart and loving life, not of the ego and loving material things.
I have been with all my dogs as they passed and I did not see fear in their eyes during their last moments of life. During their passing, they were in a place they felt the safest, and I was comfortable, surrounded by people that meant the most to me at that time in my life, and I knew that gave my dogs comfort. When I felt safe and at peace, so did they. When they passed, they had love in their eyes and peace in their hearts. What a beautiful way to go!
Sharing a life with a dog is a living lesson of unconditional love - to give love unconditionally, as well as to get it. Because that is all our dogs give to us, and ask in return.
Dogs help ground us to our true purpose of living from the heart. It is one of the many gifts they give us. And if we live a life with a closed heart and are unable to experience this gift when they are alive with us, we will certainly feel that heart open upon their death.
A dog's death is an inevitable event. But if we shift our perspective and look at it as a lesson of love instead of a fear of loss then its death will have meaning and its life will live on in our hearts.
Joan Klucha has been working with dogs for more than 15 years in obedience, tracking and behavioural rehabilitation. Contact her via her website k9kinship.com.
