The kitchen was alive with energy and activity.
There were four children ranging in age from two to six and they were helping make dinner.
I know what you're thinking, "What was I, crazy? Put in a video and get them out of the way so you can make dinner."
But kids are fun. They are fun to be around and they love to help. We were making pizza. One child was shredding cheese, another taking meat slices from the packaging, a preschooler was thrilled to have the messy job of spreading a spiced tomato sauce on the shell and the littlest of the group was kept busy bringing things from one person to another. And did they ever love eating the pizza they had created! We get so busy that our focus can easily become one of learning how to be efficient, which usually means getting the kids out of the way. Of course, their reaction is to try and get our attention so our great plans are thwarted because we need to deal with their interruptions. So you may as well allow them to be with you.
That's a reason to involve them but it shouldn't be the primary one. As a parent, you have permission to be as silly, ridiculous or foolish as you wish, all in the interest of playing with your kids.
I am now an emptynester so if I'm caught dancing around the living room singing silly songs at the top of my lungs, people may wonder about my sanity (or sobriety). But, when I had a baby or toddler in my arms the same activity was disarming and wonderful.
It doesn't take as much with the kids and have fun.
On a rainy day put on your raincoats and boots and go for a walk around the block and kick and splash in all the puddles. It's fun and energizing.
When did you last play hopscotch? Or build a snowman or throw a snowball? Or run through the sprinkler on a hot and muggy day? Join the kids for a short time and play. They will love it and to your surprise so will you. It's also good exercise and great modeling about having fun outside.
On a cold and miserable day, give the kids cushions and blankets and let them build the greatest fort ever. Once it's ready, show up with a picnic lunch that you can eat with them in the fort.
When you've been busy or distracted for a few days and you can feel the tension in the house, break it by playing. What about shocking the kids by offering dessert first at dinnertime? You will be amazed at how good you will all feel when you do something fun and unexpected.
At bedtime, when you are reading stories to your children, use different voices for the characters. If it's a book they know well, change the words and they will have a great time correcting you. The sillier the mistake, the better.
Playing with our kids is not only fun, it has real benefits in solidifying the relationship between our children and us. When we are generally enjoying each other and having fun, we feel good about each other. Then when there is a bad patch, when a child is being snarly or snarky, the good feelings make dealing with this time so much easier.
Having fun with our kids creates an atmosphere of trust. When we spend time with them doing what they like to do, we let them know that what matters to them is important.
None of this means that you spend all day playing with the kids. They need to play with their peers, their siblings and on their own.
But investing a little time in play and fun is healthy for people of all ages.
Kathy Lynn is a professional speaker and author of Who's In Charge Anyway? and But Nobody Told Me I'd Ever Have to Leave Home. If you want to read more, sign up for her informational newsletter at parentingtoday.ca.
