Mom gets up in the morning and has a relaxing shower.
Dad heads to the kitchen where he puts on the coffee and sets the table for breakfast. He is then ready for his shower. Once Mom is dressed, the children, Jay, 8, and Madison, 10, jump out of bed ready for the day. They dress in the clothing that they carefully laid out the night before and come to the kitchen for breakfast. Breakfast is a happy meal with laughing and talking. Then the kids grab their backpacks and head out the door in plenty of time. They walk to school together ready for yet another day of learning.
Well, that may happen somewhere but for most of us it's a dream. But dreams can also be goals. And a new school year is a time to set new standards. How can we organize ourselves so that at least most school mornings will run smoothly?
Decide today that this is a goal and involve the family in making it happen. It starts with day one. So plan now. I'm going to let you in on a little secret: your children don't like the chaos and confusion in the morning any more than you do. They would like to arrive at school calm and ready to settle down to work. So involve all your family members to see what works best for you.
I've written about the family meetings that will happen when you plan your week. Today we'll look at the day-to-day reality of preparing to go to school.
What to wear? Organize the closet so the school clothes are all together. If your child is a slow starter in the morning, have her choose her clothes the night before, but if she's a morning person let her wait until she's out of bed. Plan breakfast and lunches ahead of time. How you do this is up to you. Some families set the breakfast table the night before so they're ready to go. Some families make lunches at night, others in the morning. But involve the kids. They will eat the lunches they prepare. Of course you need to set some guidelines about what goes in the lunch bag.
Now here's the big question. How much time do you really need? I bet it's a bit more than you give yourself. So get up a bit earlier and it will be worth it. Being organized can make your mornings better, but bottom line, if you haven't allowed enough time for everyone to use the bathroom, have breakfast and get their stuff together, all the organization in the world is for naught. In many families as little as 15 minutes can make all the difference.
Other things you can do to improve the morning is to give each child their own alarm clock and teach them how to use it. Stagger wake-up time to avoid bathroom congestion. Keep soap, toothpaste, combs and the like in a convenient place that is low enough for younger kids to help themselves. Simplify your kids clothing. The easier it is to put on, the faster they can get dressed.
Finally, keep the TV turned off. It's distracting and engaging and the kids just aren't going to keep moving along if it's on. Breakfast can be a family time. Take a few minutes to chat, to connect and get ready for the day. It will be worth it.
If you have a little one starting kindergarten, she will be concerned about the basics. She'll want to know about the bathroom. Where is it and how does she let the teacher know when she has to go? Remind her that every kid in the class is new and that the teacher knows that.
Besides supporting and preparing her for this new adventure, be sure to celebrate. This is a big and exciting step along the road to maturity. Be excited for her and be optimistic. She needs support but she needs to see that you are excited and positive about her new step forward.
The same is true for any new school. Whether you've moved and the kids have changed schools or they are entering middle school, junior secondary, or senior secondary, they need support. There's a difference between the children who are moving to the next level of school and likely moving with friends, compared to those who are completely new to the district. While you want the teacher to know that your child comes from another city, remember that all students are likely new to the teacher. Give both teacher and child a few days to get acquainted and then decide if you need to speak to the teacher and let her know your child is new. Often children do better without our help.
With a little plan and forethought school mornings can be pleasant.
Kathy Lynn is a parenting expert who is a professional speaker and author of Vive la Différence, Who's In Charge Anyway? and But Nobody Told Me I'd Ever Have to Leave Home. If you want to read more, sign up for her informational newsletter at parentingtoday.ca.
