Teen suicide is a difficult but important issue for parents of teens to tackle.
The reason this topic has arisen is two-fold.
One is the TV program based on the book titled 13 Reasons Why and the other is a game called the Blue Whale Game.
The TV program focuses on the story of Hannah Baker, a teenager who committed suicide and left 13 audio cassettes explaining why she killed herself.
The Blue Whale game assigns the player daily tasks for 50 days. The tasks range from waking in the middle of the night to self-harming to watching horror films. On the last day, the teen is to commit suicide.
Interestingly, 13 Reasons Why is based on a book that was published 10 years ago and became a No.1 bestseller in the United States and was translated and published in 13 countries. It’s not new.
The concern, of course, is that the TV program could be seen as something that glorifies suicide and if teens watch the show and talk about it, they are more likely to commit suicide.
In fact, there was a story that the Blue Whale game was responsible for dozens of suicides in Russia, but Snopes.com found that to be unproven.
All of that being said, what’s a parent to do?
There have been suggestions that teens be forbidden from talking about the TV program. Well, I’d suggest that parents and teachers can forbid that until the cows come home. Kids are going to talk about it. I remember when I was a teen and we had a few books in our high school library with objectionable paragraphs blacked out. You know what we did. We simply went to the community library, took the book out and found the redacted material.
As a matter of fact, I see this TV program as a possible good thing. When a teen commits suicide it often comes as a complete surprise to his parents, friends and teachers. He never said a word. No one knew that under his day-to-day regular behavior he was aching.
Both the TV show and the game give parents the very opening they need to talk to their kids. If we want our kids to hear from us on sensitive topics it’s up to us to open the dialogue. This includes things such as sexuality, divorce and suicide.
I can hear you now. They won’t say anything. They won’t listen. The trick is to be the one who listens. Approach the topic with curiosity, not judgement. Hear their point of view instead of lecturing. Ask them: What do they know about the TV show 13 Reasons Why. Tell them that you heard about it and are curious. Have they seen it? Do they talk to their friends about it? How does it make them feel?
When we’re going to initiate a conversation with our teens that makes us feel uncomfortable it’s easy to overstate and overreact.
Admit that this is a difficult conversation (and this is true of any touchy topic) for you and them but one that is important.
Watch for opportunities to raise issues that matter and this TV program and the online game are certainly in this category.
If you discover that your teens are watching 13 Reasons Why, either watch with them or watch on your own. Then when you talk to your kids you know what you’re talking about and can listen to their reaction and share your observations.
More than anything, the important thing is for you to keep the lines of communication open between you and your kids.
Kathy Lynn is the author of Vive la Différence, Who’s In Charge Anyway? and But Nobody Told Me I’d Ever Have to Leave Home. If you want to read more, sign up for her informational newsletter at [email protected]
