The weather is lovely and we all, adults and children alike, want to be out in the sunshine.
There is only one problem. The kids need to be indoors studying for their final exams. June is the final month of the school year and it’s also the most stressful. The older the child and the higher the grade they are in, the higher the stress levels. Final marks count, particularly if the student is planning on post-secondary studies.
It’s easy to find yourself nagging your kids to settle down and study. And all that accomplishes is tension and bad feelings and the child is actually less likely to engage in any worthwhile studying.
So what can you do? Studying and writing exams is the job of the student. In fact, once kids are getting homework it’s theirs, not yours. Your job is to support them but not do their work. It’s not up to you to ensure they learn everything that they need to know.
But there are ways you can support them.
The first is to relieve them of their regular chores. Tell them you understand they will be unusually busy with school work so until the end of exams you will do their chores to free them up to study. This lets them know you’re supportive and believe that studying for finals is important.
Cook nutritious meals for them and have them sit at the table and eat properly. If they don’t eat well, they won’t be able to think properly and the time they spend studying just won’t be efficient. Besides meals, bring them snacks while they work. Just slip in, put a drink or some fruit on the desk and leave quietly. Or on a hot June day quietly enter the room and put down an icy cold glass of lemonade with a cookie or two and slip out. This is a great treat and really appreciated.
While putting the emphasis on study, understand the need and value of some leisure to reduce the stress. It’s not a bad thing to take the occasional break. Watching a favorite TV show, going for a run, or chatting with a friend on the phone are positive, and not wasting time. If you’re worried that she is going to watch TV all night a simple comment such as, “Taking a short break eh?” is helpful. When parents are bugging their children to study every second, they can easily go into their rooms and goof off. Many actually study far fewer hours than if they are allowed some breaks.
If they are having a rough time with the content or just finding the amount to learn overwhelming, be ready to be a good listener. You can’t solve the problem so don’t try. Just listen.
Just talking out the frustration may be all your child needs. If they are really struggling, you could suggest they talk to their teacher.
Studying is hard work. When they are tired, encourage them to get enough sleep. All-night study sessions are not very healthy. Mind you, with the older kids it may happen and if it does just be supportive and caring.
Finally, remember you are there to support them but only they can decide to study. It’s their education and their exams so if they choose to goof off despite your support, they will have to deal with the outcome.
With your support they will do their best and can then enjoy the summer and look forward to the fall with energy and excitement.
Kathy Lynn is a professional speaker and author of Vive la Différence, Who’s In Charge Anyway? and But Nobody Told Me I’d Ever Have to Leave Home. If you want to read more, sign up for her informational newsletter at parentingtoday.ca.
