You are going to be moving house and you have two children who are nine and seven.
They are doing well in school and happy with their teachers and now they are going to need to change schools. It's a challenge.
When I first started thinking about this situation I spoke to some military parents. They are the experts on how to move with children because they need to pack up and move whenever their posting changes. They had lots of good advice for me and I am happy to pass it on to you.
Older children, particularly those in high school, find it particularly challenging to change schools. That being said, there are some steps we can take to make school change easier for all ages of children.
Ironically, it's often easier for them to change midyear. The rule of thumb has often been that we should have kids start at a new school in September, but that can actually backfire. In September, all the students are new to the teacher so she won't know that your child is new to the city or neighbourhood and possibly knows no one in the class.
Even if you make the time to visit the teacher and let her know that your kids are new to the area, the teacher is busy figuring out the status of every kid in the classroom. There may be other kids new to the school, some who have special needs or some dealing with particularly difficult home situations. And the teacher needs to accommodate all the children in the class.
If your child enters the school later in the year, he will stand out in the teacher's mind. The teacher will be able to help him to meet kids and settle in more easily. This is more difficult when your kids are older because they don't have a single teacher to help with the adjustment. But a good homeroom teacher or counsellor can ease the transition. You can support the teacher by meeting with her, explaining your child's school history to date, how they feel about this move and if they have any particular worries or concerns. Then the teacher can focus her support and help your child with the transition. The teacher may also be able to identify a child who would be a good match for your son or daughter and pair them up on a project or activity.
Kids who have a transferable interest or skill will have an easier time. If they play soccer, love working on the school yearbook or have an interest in drama, you can quickly help them find a group or team they can join. This is a great way to fit in and make friends. If possible, find out what activities are available for your child in the new school and register her for the appropriate sports team or activity.
Do the research to find out about the school before you actually move. Involve your children in the move. If you're moving to a new city, check out the tourism sites on the Internet or write away for brochures. If you're just changing neighbourhoods, drive around the new area, stop for a pizza and check out the local parks.
Once your kids are settled in the new school, encourage them to invite friends over to your new home. When you do this, it's also a good idea to introduce yourself to the parents. The more you all connect with the school and community, the more comfortable you will all feel in your new place.
Kathy Lynn is a professional speaker and author of Vive la Différence, Who's In Charge Anyway? and But Nobody Told Me I'd Ever Have to Leave Home. Sign up for her informational newsletter at parentingtoday.ca.
