When you are out shopping at this time of year you will see information and fundraisers to support dry grads. What is this about?
Traditionally, after a graduation prom there is an after-party and in the past these have often included liquor and some very drunk, underage graduates. This led to accidents caused by inebriated young drivers.
In the 1980s the concept of a dry grad emerged. That is a great after-party that is liquor free. The challenge is to make it fun and acceptable. It needs to be an event that kids would want to attend.
When kids attend an after-party that includes alcohol they believe that drinking is totally normal.
To support youth and parents, the province has developed Alcohol Sense, a comprehensive suite of online resources to provide parents with tools to guide and educate their children in making healthy decisions about alcohol. To learn more, visit: healthyfamiliesbc.ca/home/articles/topic/alcohol-sense.
Twenty-one-year-old Calista Fanthorpe started drinking when she was 12. “I would stand outside a liquor store and get a parent or adult to buy me a large bottle of hard booze to split with two friends. In less than an hour it would be gone,” Fanthorpe says. “I would become so intoxicated, engage in risky behaviour and use other drugs. I was the ultimate party girl.”
Binge drinking had a devastating effect on Fanthorpe’s life and she shared her story May 11 at Lions Gate Hospital at the launch of the Think Before You Let Them Drink campaign. Supported by Vancouver Coastal Health, North Vancouver RCMP and West Vancouver Police, the annual anti-bootlegging campaign is aimed at teaching adults about the dangers of providing alcohol to minors.
It may seem that Fanthorpe’s story is over the top for the average kid. But, when pre-teens and teens drink they typically drink to get drunk. Fanthorpe and her young friends found that it was rarely difficult to get an adult to buy liquor for them.
She is sharing her story so other teens do not follow her path. She says: “A few things are of concern in this whole picture that we weren’t aware of at the time. Firstly, my young mind’s perception that the purpose of drinking was to get drunk and secondly that we were being provided with alcohol by supposed responsible adults with absolutely no education on how physiologically powerful the effects of alcohol are.”
Fanthorpe notes that not only was it easy for her and her friends to access alcohol, there were no reasonable conversations with parents or other adults. She adds, “As a young adult woman, looking back at the time when I was a younger teen, I looked to those ahead of me for some form of direction. I saw a lot of care-free and well-liked so-called party girls and was inspired in the worst ways possible. There is a kind of epidemic happening in the regard of taking personal responsibility for the examples that are being set for our youth.”
Clearly the message is that it is up to the parents to set the example, provide the direction and educate our children about alcohol use.
Dry grad is only one aspect of the equation. It’s important because traditionally for kids who didn’t start drinking at an early age as Fanthorpe did, the grad after-party and getting drunk for the first time is a rite of passage.
When there is an alternative that is attractive to the kids they won’t see drinking as a necessary part of being a graduate.
On the other hand, parents do need to recognize that they need to be educating their kids about responsible drinking because they will soon be legally able to purchase their own alcohol. Avoiding the conversation is not helpful.
Teaching our teens how to handle alcohol in a healthy and reasonable way is an important step to helping them to become responsible young men and women.
Kathy Lynn is a professional speaker and author. Sign up for her informational newsletter at parentingtoday.ca.
