Deb Gill describes her high school self as an organizing, conscientious, maternal person.
That’s probably why her friends at the time jokingly referred to her as “mom.”
With a nickname like that, it’s not surprising that Gill never really considered not being a mother.
Today she has two kids, Owen, 7, and Sydney, 4, and says it is a privilege to be their mom.
“The neatest thing is just getting to know them more and more, the more they can express themselves and develop their own personalities, and see more of who they are and who they’re going to be,” she notes.
But the journey to motherhood started off a bit rocky when she developed severe bronchitis at the end of her first pregnancy, and then developed a gallbladder issue a week after her son was born and had to have surgery. Her parents, who were visiting from Ontario at the time, ended up staying for two months to help out.
Thankfully, her second pregnancy went a lot smoother, and Gill says it was “dreamy” in comparison.
Although she was prepared, Gill admits she didn’t quite know what to expect when she had her first child, but says, “I don’t know how it ever is what you expect it to be.”
Her parenting style is similar to both her parents, she says, and while she didn’t receive tons of parenting advice from them, they have been a consistent and reliable source of support for her.
Along with being a member of her kids’ PAC group at school, Gill has also served as the chairwoman of the Lonsdale Creek Daycare Society Board for the past three years, and has helped deliver a number of important initiatives, including planning the daycare’s 40th anniversary celebration.
Volunteering is important to Gill, who notes she got that sensibility from her mother. Contributing to community is something she feels strongly about, and Gill says she puts in what she hopes to get back in the sense that she truly believes it takes a “village” to raise a child.
“Life is busy for everyone these days,” she says, noting families in her North Vancouver neighbourhood know each other and help each other out.
“I don’t think life works these days without that,” she adds.
Gill says she sees aspects of her personality in both her children. Owen is outgoing and social, like her. And Sydney is organized and strong-willed, just like her also.
Although they share similarities, Gill explains that it wasn’t her intention as a mom to mold her kids into versions of herself or her husband.
“A lot of what my husband and I both believe is that our job isn’t to create little versions of ourselves but to give them enough opportunity and enough insight into who they are and what they want out of life to make them fairly productive folks.”
For her, motherhood is about the privilege of getting to know her kids, be loved by them and have the experience of shifting priorities and shifting perspectives.
“They’ll change us as much as we’ll impact who they are over time,” she notes.
This story was originally written for a special section of the North Shore News focused on Mother's Day stories.
