Do opposites really attract? Not always when it comes to money matters - as many (and many former) couples have discovered.
Some 90 per cent of Canadians want a partner who shares their approach to money, according to an ING Direct survey, which also revealed 87 per cent want to know all about the partner's income, investments and debt.
However, 53 per cent still say managing money causes the most financial stress in the relationship - compared with having children (14 per cent), buying a home (11 per cent) and saving for retirement (10 per cent).
About 26 per cent talk about the family's finances every week, compared with 21 per cent who talk monthly and 28 per cent who talk only when a money issue arises.
In the survey, 60 per cent said they are savers and half of those wouldn't consider a relationship with a spender. But among the 40 per cent spenders 87 per cent said they'd be happy to have a saver as a partner.
Half of the respondents said they would bring up money matters only after five or more dates; 11 per cent ended a relationship for financial reasons. About half of the group had saved on their wedding - half of whom were spenders and half savers.
No matter how well you think you know your partner, I can guarantee you will gain a better understanding of her/his feelings about finances through attending a workshop or counselling program offered by many churches and some community groups - or simply by going online: Google words like "relationship financial issues" and "relationship financial quiz" to get started. Take a quiz separately, then compare answers.
I've often had one client look at her/his partner and say, "I didn't know you felt that way" about various personal financial matters. Even in my own relationship every so often my wife Mandy and I would be surprised to find we didn't feel the same way about a financial objective or plan.
Because both your life and also the overall situation change so often, you need to sit down to talk money with your partner on a regular basis.
Mike Grenby is a columnist and independent personal financial advisor; he'll answer questions in this column as space allows but cannot reply personally. Email [email protected].
