"We talked. That was the main thing. And we held hands. And we talked. And I cried," says Mary-Ann Reeves.
"It was a wonderful visit. And we didn't want to leave each other. When it came to the end... we held each other together and we just shook," she adds.
Reeves, reflecting on a recent visit with her son, Jim Mann, speaks softly as she shares the treasured memory. It was her first time seeing Mann - or "Jamie" as only she is allowed to call him she asserts - in two and a half years.
The visit, seeing West Vancouver's Reeves, 84, reunited with Albuquerque, New Mexico resident Mann, 57, was a special one as Reeves is currently a patient at the North Shore Hospice following a July diagnosis with inoperable cancer.
"It gave me the chance to say goodbye to my mom while she was still alive and that's what I wanted to do and that's what she wanted to do," says Mann.
The visit was made possible thanks to funding provided by the North Shore-based Paul Sugar Palliative Support Foundation, which provides assistance to individuals and families living with a terminal illness and in financial need, pertaining to both their physical and emotional well-being. It was launched by clinical pharmacist Dr. Marylene Kyriazis and namesake, Dr. Paul Sugar, a full-time palliative care physician at Lions Gate Hospital, the North Shore Hospice and in the community at large.
The foundation is currently celebrating its first anniversary and representatives are continuing to raise awareness of their efforts as a means of helping more families like Reeves', and ensuring local terminally ill patients' final days are as comfortable, peaceful and meaningful as possible.
Reeves has been in the North Shore Hospice for the last three months in the wake of a diagnosis with gallbladder cancer, which spread to her liver and pancreas.
While in the hospice, she ran into Sugar, realizing they had met many years ago when he had treated her family, having filled in for their regular physician.
"He knew my mom and so when my mom went into the hospice... they started talking," says Mann. "Come to find out, he had this foundation and. .. he said, 'We might be able to get your son up here to visit with you.' Because I hadn't seen her in coming on almost two and a half years now. With everything that was going on it was kind of important, so he saw what he could do and... they were able to pay for my journey."
Mann, who works as a parts manager for an auto parts store, was in North Vancouver Sept. 25-28.
"Oh I wish it was more," says Reeves.
"I'm very close to my son. It was very special. He's so much to my heart. He's my baby boy. I shouldn't say that at 57," she adds.
"He's a wonderful, wonderful man."
Mann likewise speaks highly of his mother, who had a long career as a toplevel RN, both locally and in the southwestern United States.
"She's an amazing woman," he says.
During Mann's visit, a celebration was organized for Reeves, with a dozen of her friends, family members and hospice staff in attendance, complete with sparkling cider, helium balloons, an "I love you Mary-Ann" sign, shrimp cocktail and other delights.
"It was great, it was very, very good, I mean it was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do because basically I was coming up to say goodbye to my mom. That was very hard, but we spent two and a half days of fun. I fed her food she hadn't had in quite some time, fish and chips, and I bought her Purdys chocolates. You know, that kind of thing, so it was really, really nice, it was meaningful, it really was," says Mann.
Both Reeves and Mann encourage community members to support the foundation.
"If I could do it I would volunteer too. I really would because I think it's a wonderful situation and a wonderful thing to do," Reeves says.
Mann echoes her sentiment. "I would wholly encourage people to support that kind of foundation because what they did for me... was just remarkable because I was unable to pay for the trip. What they did for me, I could never repay them, I could never thank them enough," he says.
"It really, really helped. It was amazing," he adds.
Kyriazis and Sugar launched the Paul Sugar Palliative Support Foundation after seeing a strong need in the community regarding terminally ill patients. In some situations, local families were unable to be together at end of life due to financial constraints, as well as others where patients didn't qualify for provincial resources or were unable to pay for supplemental services that would have been of help. Seeing so many patients falling through the cracks, they were compelled to action.
"That's how we really started, but the longer we've been in it, we realized there's more of an emotional need," says Kyriazis, foundation cofounder and president. "I see it really as a basic need, not as a luxury. People are faced with a terminal illness and faced with death and dying and they don't have the emotional supports at all. There's a lacking in the current health care system. We've got great medical care, but no emotional supports in place," she adds.
In addition to paying the airfare to help with Reeves' and Mann's visit - the foundation's first time doing so - highlights of its work in the last year include providing funding to Family Services of the North Shore for Companioning
Community Care, a volunteer program that offers palliative patients and their caregivers one-on-one visits, a relaxation clinic and bereavement support.
The foundation has also provided hospital beds and wheelchairs to palliative patients in need, including donating a bed to the ALS Society.
Other highlights include making a donation to the North Shore Hospice Society's Bill Field fund, and the foundation is continuing to build partnerships with other local organizations in support of palliative patients and their families.
"We want to get the word out there that we are around and we're there to help anybody that needs help," says Kyriazis, adding the foundation seeks to serve all community members not just those that are patients in the hospice.
To celebrate its one-year anniversary, give thanks to supporters and donors, and raise further funds in support of local palliative care patients and their families, the foundation is presenting an event Sunday, Nov. 2 from 4 to 8 p.m. at Westview Shopping Centre's Two Lions Public House in North Vancouver. In honour of Sugar's typical garb, the evening's theme is a plaid and jeans affair, and will feature live music by August.
Community members are encouraged to attend the event, make a financial donation or donation of air miles. As well, the foundation is always looking for volunteers.
paulsugarfoundation.com
