I did not learn how to drive until I was 20.
I got a job that required me to have (and drive) a car, so suddenly the pressure was on. I immediately signed up for lessons and the teaching began. I had never been behind the wheel of a car, so the teacher was working with a blank slate. He told me that made it easier. I had no bad habits. ICBC recently ran a survey in which they discovered that 29 per cent of parents surveyed believed their teens had picked up a bad driving habit from them. The most common habits were speeding, not coming to a complete stop, impatience, eating while driving and not shoulder checking. Survey respondents also revealed that if they could teach their teen over again, they would enroll them in professional driving lessons.
If you are going to be teaching your teen how to drive, it's a good idea to pay attention to your own driving and honestly assess your bad habits. Over the years of driving it's easy to become lazy or inattentive. But now you are helping your youngster to begin his driving career. What do you want him to learn? Teaching him is great, but being a good example is equally important.
Then ask yourself, are you the best person to be teaching your child? Are you patient? Will you be able to help her when she dissolves into tears because she just can't back up or parallel park? Do you and your teen work well together?
If possible, look to the experts. Driving school instructors can be objective without the emotion that's often involved in parent-teen relationships. If you do choose this route, stay involved and discuss what they're learning. And certainly be prepared to take them out for lots of practice sessions.
There is a temptation to spend all your practice time on quiet residential streets or in empty parking lots. While that's a good place to start, he needs to learn how to drive on the highway, during rush hour and during lousy weather.
There are three steps to getting a driver's licence. A teen can get a Learner (L) when they are 16. If they are under 19 a parent or legal guardian must consent. Then he has to pass a knowledge test and a vision test.
A Learner must always drive with a supervisor who is at least 25 years old and has a driver's licence. They must display the L on the back of the vehicle. He can only have one passenger in addition to the supervisor and cannot drive between midnight and 5 a.m. After he has had his L for at least a year he can take the road test. When he passes the road test he is now a Novice (N) driver and can drive on his own. He needs to display the N on the back of the vehicle and can only have one passenger unless there is a supervisor with a valid licence in the car. The earliest day he can take his road test is on the back of his licence. You can take the Class 5 road test once you've been a Novice driver for 24 months and have not had any at-fault crashes or tickets.
You might even be able to take it after 18 months, if you've taken an ICBC-approved driver training course and met all the requirements (no at-fault crashes, tickets or prohibitions).
The final step is to develop rules and understandings about driving.It's likely that the teen will be driving your car. Make sure that you are clear with her about your expectations.
For example, she needs to give you notice when she wants to drive your car, she needs to fill the gas tank, and she should take her turn to wash the car. If she causes an accident, she will be expected to pay the repairs.
When you work to ensure that you don't pass your bad habits on to your teen, when you support her to be a good driver, and when you are clear on your expectations, it will be wonderful to have another driver in the house.
As one parent said to me, "It's great when your teen gets her licence because then she's keen to run all kinds of errands." Another parent told me that she likes knowing that her daughter does not need to depend on other kids to get home from events. She knows her daughter is reliable and feels confident when she is in charge of her own transportation.
Kathy Lynn is a professional speaker and author of Vive la Différence, Who's In Charge Anyway? and But Nobody Told Me I'd Ever Have to Leave Home. If you want to read more, sign up for her informational newsletter at parentingtoday.ca.
