Mistakes. We all make them. They are a part of life.
In order to learn what to do, we have to learn what not to do, and that involves making mistakes.
This especially applies to our life with our dogs. Mistakes happen when raising and training. As dog owners, we can't help but make mistakes. Our pets don't come with an owner's manual.
Mistakes happen to the best of us because we are human, we are imperfect and we were made that way. In a way, we were designed to fail in order to succeed. Even the people who are supposed to have the most "expert" knowledge and experience make mistakes. Yes, even I make mistakes. Some are larger than others. I don't regret any of them. They have made me who I am and helped me create the life that I have dreamed about.
If we have a healthy relationship with our egos, we recognize when we make a mistake, we admit we've made the mistake and then we make the necessary changes to prevent the mistake from happening again. If we have an unhealthy relationship with our egos, we ignore the mistake, blame others for the mistake, deny the mistake ever happened and end up repeating the mistake over and over again.
Mistakes are more obvious in hindsight. Such as the time I gave my then-puppy an empty water bottle to occupy his time. It seemed like an innocent thing to do. He enjoyed playing with the bottle as it bounced around at his pawing. He would chew on it and enjoyed the noise it made. There are even toys that are available to cover an empty water bottle and encourage dogs to play with the empty bottle. It's an easy, inexpensive toy - until it isn't. Until you walk in the front door and see an empty onelitre water bottle on the living room floor and ask yourself, "Hmm, how did that get there?" You look at your now 10-month-old adolescent dog with a stinky eyed scowl and his look back says, "What?" You point at the bottle, he looks at the direction of your finger and you see him shrug his shoulders as if saying, "And the problem is?"Then you remember, and it feels like someone hit you on the back of the head. You left a full bottle of water on the nightstand beside the bed. You made the mistake of forgetting to place it back in the fridge before you left in the morning because of an unexpected phone call which threw off your routine.
In a panic you run into the bedroom, see the blue cap on the floor and begin to look and feel your way around the carpet. Nothing! "Whew." Then another feeling of dread takes over as you look over at the bed. With trepidation you begin to feel around the duvet looking for the. .. ahhh, there it is, the wet spot.
I could get angry, but that serves no purpose. What good is yelling and shouting at my young dog for playing with an object that I, at one time, gave him full liberty to play with? That would be egomaniacal. Instead I learn that the lesson is to think before I act in emotional situations and take responsibility instead of reacting and blaming.
So I suck it up, strip the bed of blankets and realize that a blow dryer is not going to dry the mattress overnight. While spending a few nights in the guest room I promise myself to never make the mistake of giving any puppy a water bottle to play with again and start using a nonbreakable container for midnight sips of water.
Now, for your entertainment, here are a few other mistakes clients have shared that they have learned from: Don't give a puppy an old sock or shoe to play with, ever. The reasons should be obvious. Don't play a search game by hiding your dog's favourite toys within the cushions of a couch, unless you want to buy a new couch. Don't leave your dog and your groceries in the car at the same time while you grab a coffee to go.
Make mistakes, learn from them and love your dog for the lesson.
Joan has been working with dogs for over 15 years in obedience, tracking and behavioural rehabilitation. Contact her through her website k9kinship.com.
