THE 2011 holiday season marks an important milestone for one 28-year-old North Vancouver resident.
Kevin (his last name withheld to protect his family's privacy) has just celebrated two years of sobriety.
In December 2009, Kevin began treatment at The Orchard Recovery and Addiction Treatment Center. The Orchard is a private residential rehab facility on Bowen Island serving those struggling with substance abuse (alcohol and/or drugs). Kevin checked in Dec. 7, 2009 and completed his program Jan. 4, 2010. He's continued to follow a positive path and is leading the kind of life he'd always hoped. He now endeavours to share his story as a means of inspiring others struggling with addiction to likewise get the help they need.
Kevin's journey started at age 16. Having led an active life up until that point, engaging in a variety of competitive sports, he cast his interests aside, engaging in a party lifestyle and struggling with substance abuse, primarily alcohol, for the following 10 years.
There were a number of incidents that happened in his life that he thought might encourage him to change his behaviour. For example, his father passed away due to alcoholism in 2006. Kevin also experienced a serious car accident in 2004, resulting in a head injury. He spent a month recovering in hospital followed by six months at home.
"Here was my chance to prove that I can lead a type of life that I want to live, and that didn't happen," says Kevin. "I just followed with the same destructive lifestyle that I had been living."
In addition, Kevin welcomed a daughter into his life in 2006.
"I always kept my job," he says. "I tried to be there for my daughter, but I wasn't always really there, you know? Having her was the straw that got me into treatment."
Kevin also credits his daughter's mom, and his mother and sister with giving him the final push and encouragement he needed to get help.
Kevin's stay at The Orchard was the first time he'd undergone treatment. It was tough being there over the holidays, however a visit from his family made things easier. Depending on where the client is in their recovery journey, family visits are allowed weekly for Orchard residents, as well as at Christmas. Others are even given passes to go home. In Kevin's case, his daughter and her mother were allowed to pay a visit; as well, they dropped off gifts that were set under a communal Christmas tree.
Kevin's overall rehab experience was one of healing and offered a fresh perspective on his life. "I had basically thought when I was in my addiction that basically, 'That was it, this was my life, this is the way I'm going to live it, I have no problems being an alcoholic, I'm just kind of following the bloodlines in my family.' And I was okay with that," he says. "Going to a treatment centre gave me that chance to get some clear time for me to let the fog to clear, for me to take a look at where I'd gone. I think that was the biggest thing for me, just to have some clarity in life, so I could see truly what was important to me."
Kevin's recovery has proven successful and now he works to reach out to others.
"I just spend my time trying to help others who have similar problems," he says.
His sobriety has also given him increased confidence, helping him to overcome his shyness, and fear of new people and experiences. "I think having some confidence and not being fearful of people and being able to go out there and meet people and be of service, that's a great gift," he says. "I think that based on that, my future is definitely a lot brighter. I don't live in that fear anymore so I know that I can pretty much go out and do anything and I can do it sober."
Kevin encourages people struggling with substance abuse to get the help they need.
"If someone is thinking about seeking treatment, they should just go for it and know that their family will be there for them," he says. "Just try to take it one day at a time. I know it can be hard thinking about what the future may hold, and we have regrets about the past, but if they just try to take it a day at a time and try to change their life, it's possible."
Since its inception 10 years ago, The Orchard has assisted more than 2,000 people struggling with substance abuse. It serves a maximum of 25 clients at a time, 19 and up, and their length of stay ranges based on chosen programming.
"Typically at the Orchard, you're going to see people that come in that are fairly high-functioning," says The Orchard's executive director, Lorinda Strang, a West Vancouver resident. "We have had pretty much every profession that you can think of, doctors, lawyers, airline pilots, a lot of people from the oil and gas industry, dentists, everything, teachers, private business owners."
With the holiday season here, staff are endeavouring to disseminate the message that treatment is a gift to oneself, not a punishment. "There's help out there and you don't have to do this alone," says Strang. "There's a lot of people sitting around alone at Christmas and slowly drinking themselves to death. (Alcoholism) is a progressive and fatal disease if left untreated. It's serious. But on the flip side to that I always say treatment works and it saves lives. (At The Orchard) you're coming into a tranquil, beautiful setting and there's a saying that we're going to love you until you can love yourself."
Many alcoholics and addicts opt to put off going to treatment until after the holidays. For those struggling with addiction, the holidays can prove challenging for a number of reasons. First off, the culture of the holiday season includes a lot of drinking. "If you are an alcoholic that's a difficult time," says Strang.
In addition, the holidays can prove to be tough emotionally for a lot of people. "There's that expectation of perfection, that everyone is going to have this perfect family holiday," she says.
People suffering from grief and loss (due to divorce or death) or facing financial challenges (maybe having lost their job) can find the holidays to be challenging. "If their coping mechanism is to reach for alcohol or reach for a drug, then that intensifies at this time of year," says Strang. "You can get yourself into even more trouble."
"That feeling of being isolated and alone is common among alcoholics and addicts," she adds.
The holiday season can also prove stressful for the families and friends of those struggling with addiction. "What we have found from the people who actually do come in to treatment is it's such a relief to the other family members," says Strang. "Alcoholism and drug addiction is a disease of denial. Often you think you're fooling everybody. You think that everybody else doesn't see it; whereas in actual fact, actually everybody else does see that there's a problem."
Family members can find themselves walking on egg shells, worried about how the alcoholic or addict is going to behave, and whether he or she is going to show up at family gatherings at all or if there is going to be some kind of catastrophe.
"If you go into treatment, then you're safe," says Strang. "Your family knows that you're safe. Also then, your family now has hope. So you're providing your family with peace of mind, as well as yourself. You're going to start physically feeling better first of all, getting clear-headed, making rational decisions and then you're going to be launching yourself in the right direction. . . . You're going to restore yourself - physically, mentally (and) spiritually."
"There's a saying, go where you're celebrated, not where you're tolerated. If you get into treatment, if you're the addict, then all of a sudden nobody is mad at you anymore. Everybody is proud of you and everyone's happy. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you need help," she adds.
Family members and friends of addicts struggling with how to offer help and get their loved ones into treatment are invited to phone The Orchard for advice. Staff have printed resource materials they can send out, as well as have interventionists they can recommend. "We'll coach them through the process. There's a lot of help and there's a lot of ways to go at talking to someone," says Strang.
Once people complete their stay at The Orchard they're encouraged to maintain ties. The Orchard offers an alumni program, open to clients for life, which includes a weekly alumni meeting in West Vancouver. Staff also offer out-patient programming out of their West Vancouver office. On Thursday nights, they host an alumni dinner. Once a month, a half-day program is run at The Orchard.
"We stay in contact with people. . . . It's not a miracle, like you come into treatment and you're fixed forever," says Strang. "It's ongoing. So we provide ongoing care and connection."
The Orchard charges a fee for service. Some people are eligible for coverage through their respective employee assistance plans. For more information, visit www.orchardrecovery.com.
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Other local options for individuals and families struggling with substance abuse include:
- Vancouver Coastal Health
offers a host of public health addiction services. Visit www. vch.ca or phone HealthLink B.C. at 811 for help finding health services 24/7.
- Alcoholics Anonymous: Call 604-434-3933 or visit www. vancouveraa.ca.
- 12-step meetings for women in recovery are held daily at Avalon Women's Centre. Info: 604-913-0477 or www.avaloncentres.org.
- Al-Anon: Mondays at 7: 30 p.m. at Mount Seymour United Church, 1200 Parkgate Ave., North Vancouver; men only Wednesdays at 7: 45 p.m. at Highlands United Church, 3255 Edgemont Blvd., North Vancouver. Info: 6046881716.
- Ambleside Aloha Al-Anon: A support group for people affected by a loved one's drinking, Thursdays, 10 a.m. at West Vancouver United Church, 2062 Esquimalt Ave., West Vancouver. Info: 604-922-9171.
- Nar-Anon: A support group for family and friends of drug addicts, Sundays, 7 p.m. in Seminar Room A at Lions Gate Hospital; and, Tuesdays, 7: 30 p.m. at the Alano Club, 176 East Second St., North Vancouver. Info: 604-878-8844 or www.nar-anonbcregion.org.
