Growing up on a farm shaped much of my attitude towards animals, and people for that matter.
My father was a great animal lover and instilled in me his respect and love for animals. I learned what I refer to as an "authentic approach" to caring for them based on their needs as domesticated animals that rely on us 100 per cent to provide them with what they are no longer providing for themselves.
This meant that the animals' needs always came before ours because they depended on us to care for them. At a very early age I chose to get up before dawn to feed and care for the animals we had on the farm before my belly was full.
As an adult, my dedication to the mantra "animals first" is still what gets me up before dawn, feeding, exercising and caring for the animals in my care.
I think it's pretty safe to say that I've got high expectations when it comes to dog ownership and I honestly don't know if those expectations are valid or not, because not everyone grew up as I did with a code of animal care ingrained in my soul. Many people don't and can't see animals though my eyes, and vice versa. So I struggle with seeing people make what I call mistakes that could impact a dog's future. To them, it's just life with a dog.
I try to take it easy on others and myself, because mistakes happen. They are a part of life. In fact, they are probably a bigger part of life than success because if you didn't make a mistake, you wouldn't know how to make better choices to succeed.
I certainly have made my share of mistakes, as we all have. No one's mistake is bigger or worse than another because each action or choice is judged by its relevance to an individual person's situation, not the masses.
It's only when mistakes become a revolving door of bad behaviour that it eventually affects the masses. When a person is incapable of or refuses to see their mistakes and continues to make the same poor choice over an over again expecting a different outcome is when problems arise. And when dogs are involved, they are the ones that end up suffering from the human's repetitive bad behaviour.
I struggle with this - the human inability to change, their inability to let go of the past, their inability to seek a better way after realizing what they have been doing is not working. As a trainer I offer help not only with dog behaviour, but also with owner behaviour. Until a dog owner is willing to change their unwanted behaviour, a dog's unwanted behaviour will never change. It's frustrating. Standing on the outside, I can see what clearly needs to happen to get the desired results, but the owner continues to blame the dog and refuses to look at their own behaviour as the major contributing factor to their problems.
So, I lower my expectations and hope that one day the owner will take responsibility for their behaviour. I then work with the dog to make its life as enjoyable as possible, given its owner's issues.
Having a great relationship with your dog is not much different than having a great relationship with a spouse. It requires open communication, trust, honesty, respect, understanding and a willingness to admit to mistakes and then genuinely make the effort to change.
As we take our first steps into the new year, filled with promise and fulfillment of dreams and resolutions, consider your relationship with your dog. If you are struggling with a particular issue, own it. Take responsibility for it. Admit that you are partly to blame and take the steps necessary to fix it, starting with yourself. No one else can fix the problem if you are unwilling to do the work.
Responsibility is an admirable quality and it demonstrates maturity when one admits that a problem exists and then takes steps to rectify it.
Joan Klucha has been working with dogs for more than 15 years in obedience, tracking and behavioural rehabilitation. Contact her through her website k9kinship.com.
