Sarah Stark is happy to have a mini foodie in her home.
One of her daughters, two-year-old Minelle, is already a connoisseur of sorts.
“She’s hilarious,” says Stark. “She cradles and cups her food so carefully and she comments on it.”
Stark never expected to give birth to a foodie, but it’s not the only unexpected part of being a mother.
She says she didn’t understand what it would be like to be a mom until she had her own kids and realized “just how much love you can feel for somebody.”
Motherhood has been “way better” than she expected.
When asked what the greatest challenge has been, especially in the when her kids were infants, Stark says she doesn’t really remember the challenges.
“It was just all so good.”
Considering her career, it’s not surprising Stark would focus on the positive. She is a nurse who used to work at B.C. Women’s Hospital and has seen many high-risk pregnancies, some of which didn’t have good outcomes.
“For me, it’s just a gift to have a baby. It’s an absolute gift. If that’s what you want and you get it, you’re pretty lucky,” she explains, adding, “a little bit of a shift in perspective can make such a difference in how you see your role as a parent.”
Originally from Calgary, Stark moved to the North Shore in 1997 and now lives in Deep Cove.
When asked if she knew she always wanted to be a mom, she answers: “I don’t think so.”
She just didn’t put much thought into it, she admits.
But after her first daughter was born, Stark says she and her husband loved being parents so much they wanted to have more kids. They now have three daughters: two-year-old Minelle, four-year-old Charlotte, and six-year-old Sophie.
And Stark says the sisters are best friends. “They love each other and support each other.”
Although they share similarities with each other and with their parents, Stark says the girls are all “super independent” types with their own unique personalities.
“They’re all total monkeys, climbers, and independent,” she says with a laugh.
While she loves that they are independent, Stark says it can interfere with her own timetable, but sometimes “you just have to plan to not have a plan that day,” she notes.
Stark says when she was pregnant she didn’t read many parenting books, and she still hasn’t. But while she has had some questions along the way, she feels her kids don’t fit into templates so doesn’t rely on reading to figure things out.
One of her main goals of being a mom has been to share her love of the outdoors with her kids.
“I think my goal was to have children who enjoy doing the same activities as me and we definitely already have reached that. We just love being together outside,” says Stark.
She also wanted to make sure that she was herself with her kids and not pretending to be someone she isn’t.
“I wanted them to just know me as who I really am,” she explains, adding then they could really, truly be friends and have a real relationship.
Stark says she’ll know she was a good mom if her kids want to and choose to spend time with her even after they are grown up.
“To be a good mom is different things. Partly it’s that they grow to be happy and love themselves, and feel like they have choices in the world and they can do whatever they want. I just want them to be happy. I feel like then you’ve succeeded because they love their life. There’s nothing better than to be able to love your own life.”
This story was originally written as part of a special section of the North Shore News focused on Mother's Day stories.
