I woke up the other morning clinging to the side of the bed.
It wasn't a bad dream about climbing the Himalayas that left me perched on a full five inches of an oversized queen mattress, nor was it the result of my significant other after a night out with the boys. It was my dogs. All three of them were completely stretched out in various positions with six pairs of paws and three heads shoved against my back, legs and head.
As I carefully straightened out my spine from its contortionist position I could see my chiropractor just shaking his head at me as I explained why my back was the way it was.
I have always allowed my dogs on the bed and although some trainers consider this a faux pas I actually don't have a problem with it, as long as the dog does not have any behavioural problems and proper rules are in place.
Dogs live in a world of hierarchy and the top dog is the one that gets the best of everything. Even though dogs know that we humans are not dogs, they still understand and respect that we are part of that hierarchical system.
The consistent nature of our daily interactions with our dogs establishes our leadership role and hierarchical position. We are - in essence - a two-legged top dog and the bedroom is one place where we inadvertently assert our top dog status as part of our daily interactions. Since the best sleeping place is where the top dog sleeps, when we crawl into bed we are claiming our space and asserting our position.
Most dogs get this and have no need or desire to challenge that position because they are comfortable where they are within the hierarchy and the dog owner has done a good job establishing the leadership position in other areas of the dog's life.
Therefore, if your dog doesn't have any behavioural issues, allowing it onto the bed with you should not be a big deal. Insisting your dog sit and wait to be invited up is all that should be necessary.
All of my dogs have been taught to ask permission before they jump up on the bed when I am in it. When I am not in the bed, they are allowed to jump up on their own accord and no permission is necessary.
But they don't have any behavioural issues.
When I enter the bedroom they don't feel threatened in any way and if I were to ask them to move, they would willingly comply. If I don't want to crawl into bed, they remain were they are and I feel no need to tell them to move.
If, however, one of them was to growl at me as I entered the room or when I asked it to move, not only would bed privileges be revoked, they would also not be allowed to enter the bedroom.
Dogs that display aggression to anyone at any time should not be allowed on the human's bed and the owner of that dog should seek professional help to deal with the aggression. If aggression is only displayed while the dog is on the bed, the dog is most definitely showing territorial aggression and possibly dominance aggression as well. In either case it is inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour that will escalate if ignored.
Working with a qualified trainer, the dog should be taken through a series of behavioural modification exercises to correct the aggression. In time, the bed privileges may be reinstated.
Many new puppy owners will bring a puppy into the bed with them because the puppy cries through the night. Although I don't condone this, as all it does is reinforce a puppy's insecurities, there are times when it can be beneficial to a pup's development, such as when it has just come home from the breeder's. Just a few hours before, that little pup had the security of its littermates and mother and now it is surrounded with the unfamiliar.
Bringing a pup into the bed for a short period can actually help the puppy adapt to its new surroundings and bond with its people faster.
Oh, and getting a king sized bed does not guarantee room for all dogs and people. It just gives the dogs more room to sprawl.
Joan Klucha has been working with dogs for more than 15 years in obedience, tracking and behavioural rehabilitation. Contact her through her website k9kinship.com.
