THERE was once a time when I taught obedience classes where the main focus of my training was having a dog sit for 10 minutes then heel around the other dogs.
In general this type of dog training is valuable because when the dog owner applies what they have learned in class to their everyday life, a dog is given structure and it learns how to live happily within healthy boundaries of leadership.
But during the last decade I have dropped the classroom setting and have begun working with people and their dogs individually, addressing their needs and their dogs' needs on a personal level.
The goals of the owners are not to win an obedience trial, but rather to have a dog that is polite, social and willing. A companion that is welcome wherever it goes by whomever it meets.
During the training, we follow the natural evolution of the dog's maturity and development. Whatever problematic behaviours arise during this time, I try not to "fix" them per se, but rather have the owner learn from them, much like the Buddhist proverb, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."
In the case of working with dogs, the dog is the teacher and the owner is the student.
So what exactly does this mean? Well, more often than not, dog trainers are called upon to fix problems. A dog is misbehaving, the dog is at fault and the owner wants it to stop. Sometimes a more Zen-like approach is required: what is it about yourself that is becoming irritated by your dog that you need to fix? As an example, I had been called to the home of a woman whose dog was constantly chewing on her shoes. She had wanted me to fix the problem because the dog had eaten most of her footwear.
Upon meeting the dog, I noticed the dog was filled with exuberant joy. It was so peacefully happy it would grab whatever was on the floor - be it a toy or a shoe - and proudly trot around the house with the item in its mouth making a cooing noise.
My first question to the woman was, "How do you feel when your dog runs around the house like this?" Her response was, "It makes me so happy because he is so joyful."
My next question was, "How do you feel when he destroys your shoes?" Her response was, "I get angry, almost enraged. I loved those shoes and I worked hard to buy them and it angers me that they are destroyed by him."
My next question was, "So the shoes brought you joy and their absence brings you anger, and you are blaming your dog for making you more angry?" "Yes!" she said. I could sense her irritation beginning to grow.
She had a difficult time wrapping her head around this next part.
"Your dog is not chewing your shoe out of spite or boredom, he is chewing it because he is forcing the emotion of anger to shine within you, so you can recognize it and heal it. Once you stop being so angry and begin to truly be present and enjoy life - as he does - he will stop chewing your shoes!" Her homework was to place all footwear in closets and leave out the dog's toys. When the dog grabbed a toy she was to participate in the dog's joy by playing with him.
If an accident did occur where a shoe got destroyed she was to remind herself that she absent-mindedly forgot to put her shoes away because she was not being present - it's not the dog's fault. If she felt anger, she was to look within and find the reason.
After a few weeks she confided in me, saying she realized that she had created a false sense of self-worth from her expensive footwear and this lack of authenticity had made her angry. Once she began to love her dog as he was, those loving emotions began to override her anger and the dog stopped chewing her shoes.
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
What is your dog trying to teach you? Joan has been working with dogs for over 15 years in obedience, tracking and behavioural rehabilitation. Contact her at k9kinship.com.
