At his first swimming lessons Jayden Rudge would put his fingers in the water.
That was all. But that was a start.
Many children with autism are drawn to water. Jayden wasn’t. The eight year old would flee from the pool.
“He had a severe fear of water,” explains his mother, Anita Rudge.
But they went back to the pool at Karen Magnussen rec centre every Sunday. Jayden wasn’t learning to swim, not exactly. But he was forming the connection that would eventually help him get into the water.
Jayden didn’t trust the water. He might never trust the water. But he could trust certain people.
Swim teacher Scott Bernard was at the pool every Sunday, and every Sunday Jayden seemed to get a little closer to trusting him.
His teacher was “willing to persevere even more than a parent would,” Rudge recalls, discussing her good fortune in meeting committed swim teachers.
“It was the human connection that made the difference,” Rudge says.
The North Van rec commission offers discounted lessons for North Vancouver residents who can produce a referral from a social services agency or proof they require financial assistance. That helped, too.
Bit by bit, Jayden ventured into the water. One Sunday he ventured a bit deeper. One Sunday he went underwater.
“Three years later, he swims,” Rudge says.
But it wasn’t just that he was in the water or that he overcame his fear. Jayden had found something he really enjoyed. He enjoyed it even more after instructor Jimmy Cho told him that if he swam well, he could race.
Jayden knew how to race.
In kindergarten he broke a school running record for total distance covered, his mother recalls.
Late in 2017, competing against children between the ages of six and 12, Jayden won a bronze medal in the 50-metre kickboard race.
His mother had tears in her eyes.
As a single mother, Rudge’s new full-time job is caring for Jayden and his younger brother Ashton.
Both boys have special needs and both boys have found a second home at Karen Magnussen.
“I could never have done it without the community and the rec centre,” Rudge says. “People at the Canucks Autism Network have asked, ‘How come your boys are so social?’ and I tell them it’s because we go to the rec centre.”
Watching Jayden grow and find new ways to learn has helped Rudge understand autism and understand her son, who she calls a “fascinating little fellow.”
“He’s had quite a journey,” Rudge says. “I always thought I’d be teaching my child stuff and it’s more like he’s teaching me every day.”
Jayden was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and classified non-verbal. Rudge tried speech therapy but it didn’t seem to help.
But following a chance meeting with a parent in the neighbourhood, Rudge put her son in ET Music Therapy in the summer following preschool.
His teacher sang “Let it Go” from Frozen with him. They sang it over and over and – as with the swimming lessons – they were forming a connection.
By October Jayden had words.
Those words had been there for a long time, Jayden told his mother, “but they couldn’t come out.”
He needs to learn things in a different way, his mother explains. Jayden can’t read but he can play music. His music therapist started colour coding piano keys with dots. Jayden memorizes the colour patterns and the music flows.
There are still challenges. A trip to the grocery store can be a nightmare, Rudge explains. But they’re still learning and forming those connections.
It’s not just that Jayden tries, Rudge says. It’s that he tries every day. He can’t learn things in the conventional way but he can learn, Rudge explains.
He just needs to find his own way.
