This week finds me squiring around the brood in a Volvo V90 CC.
The CC bit is for “Cross-Country,” which is automaker shorthand for “raise the ride height and add some plastic cladding on the wheel arches people seem to like it I don’t know why don’t ask me any more questions I love profit!”
Modern Volvos are all pretty handsome beasts, squared off with chiseled good lucks as if sired by Thor. Even so, the amount of attention the V90 seems to be getting had me scratching my head. Almost every time I left it in a parking lot, someone would wander over and ask about it. The demographics were all over the place too, from a young mother in a Honda Odyssey to an older gent in a manual 5 Series BMW.
At first, I thought it might be the black cladding. That stuff seems to be like catnip. But then I considered a bit more and figured that the V90 was not attracting folks because of its outdoorsy affectations, but because it was a wagon.
North Shore residents love wagons. Love. Them. If one side of our modernized crest of arms is a Toyota Tacoma rampant, then the other side should probably be a Subaru Outback or similar.
This extends to the luxury market as well, especially among well-heeled people who want a wagon of sufficient accelerative capacity to turn any dogs riding onboard two-dimensional against the rear tailgate glass. I have friends in the U.S. who have rarely seen an AMG E63 wagon, that 603 horsepower Germanic labradoodle-flower-press, but in the ritzier parts of the North Shore you can throw a rock in any direction and it’ll hit three of them. And then bounce off a Tesla Model S, which is a bit wagon-y.
The current worldwide trend is a mania for crossovers, which aim to combine the capability of an SUV with the ride of a car. The manufacturers are getting better at this – the new Alfa-Romeo Stelvio is supposed to be a hoot, whenever it decides to work – but there is a bit of an issue where most of them look like automotive cankles.
A wagon, on the other hand, gives you a significant practicality advantage over a sedan, while not compromising either the handling or the looks. There are exceptions, of course, but wagons often look better than their sedan counterparts. And, to turn again to the subject of labradoodles, they come with a lower ride height, the better for dogs to clamber in. (Beneath our Tacoma-and-Outback crest, inscribe the motto “Trees, Mountains, Streams, Persistent Smell Of Wet Dog.”)
Luckily for us, automakers seem to be rewarding Canadians with a greater number of wagons to choose from. The Mercedes C-Class wagon joined the E-Class last year, and further good news emerged this week that the AMG C43 version was coming here too. A little less nutty than the E63, the C43 is suitable for compressing smaller breeds.
It joins the BMW 3 Series wagon, the Audi Allroad, the Volkswagen Alltrack and Golf SportWagen – hmm, these are all German. I wonder if the pragmatic nature of the wagon has a particular appeal for the engineering-first Teutonic brands? Well anyway: there are a few, but we could certainly handle a few more.
A few weeks back, I wrote of Mercedes’ decision to take a flyer on selling the A-Class hatchback in Canada, and not in the U.S. (the U.S. doesn’t get the C-Class wagon either). Think of it less as a risk, and more as a toe in the water to see what the market does. Canadian buying needs are different from Americans – more emphasis on hockey bag stowage, ability to resist bear attacks, cupholders still work when you’ve rolled up the rim to win – but we do serve as a good early indication of how a particular model might do if introduced into the U.S.
Here’s me raising our hands for a willingness to be lab rats for the following excellent wagons we don’t currently get. I think they’d be perfect for North Shore residents, and their little dogs too.
Volkswagen Golf R Variant
Yes, VW is already filling the wagon-shaped void in our lives with a bunch of options. However, we want more – more I say!
Take a look at the Golf R, which is nigh-impossible to get your hands on in VW showrooms. It’s basically replaced the BMW 3 Series as the car of choice for performance-minded drivers who also have to haul kids around from time to time. Overseas, they’ll do you one better with the Golf R Variant, which is a wagon variant of the Golf R. Those Germans. So literal.
Yes, it’d be eye-wateringly expensive, as the Golf R starts at $42,000. Even so, I bet they’d sell every one. Especially since there’s a hole in the market, caused by the lack of a....
Subaru Levorg STI
The fact that you can no longer buy a WRX wagon fills me with a mix of rage and despondency (ragespondency?) because I’d happily buy one tomorrow. And because you can basically get one in Japan’s market. The Levorg is a little longer than an Impreza and has more room, but it’s essentially a WRX with a hatch, just like the good old days.
Subaru’s even entered one in the British Touring Car Championship. You bloody teases!
Audi RS4 Wagon
As with VW, the Allroad provides some wagon-based relief, but not enough. Have you seen the kind of money an S4 Avant will fetch, assuming it’s in decent shape? The market shows that there’s demand for Audi to make something a sight quicker than the standard-fare Allroad.
With RS models expanding to include the RS3 and liftback RS7, why not hit us in the middle with an RS4 Avant? Mercedes is nearly there with the C43 wagon, but BMW is dithering. Audi could swoop in and take the field.
Mazda6 Wagon
The Mazda6 is probably the best car that nobody buys. It’s handsomer than the price tag would indicate, nicely efficient, and good fun to drive. The addition of a new turbocharged engine with plenty of torque makes things even better.
But what would make things even, uh, better-er would be the wagon version that Europe gets and we don’t. Sweet mother of pearl, this thing’s a looker. In the high-end Signature trim, it makes the luxury marques look like they aren’t even trying.
Mazda sales have gone mostly to crossoverville, with the CX-3, CX-5, and CX-9 representing the bulk of vehicles sold. Adding in a Mazda6 wagon, with or without a lifted version to steal a little thunder from the Subaru Outback, would be a great way to appeal to Mazda’s core driver-first attributes with a little more practicality.
mcaleeronwheels@gmail.com
