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GRINDING GEARS: Keeping speeding Ferrari outrage in check

The recent news that a 22-year-old individual was caught going over the Lions Gate Bridge at (allegedly) somewhere around 220 kilometres per hour in a white Ferrari is an extremely popular story, and for good reason.
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The recent news that a 22-year-old individual was caught going over the Lions Gate Bridge at (allegedly) somewhere around 220 kilometres per hour in a white Ferrari is an extremely popular story, and for good reason.

There is nothing more satisfying to the average person than being outraged for some reason, and this story contained all kinds of lovely ways for getting angry: outrageous speed, lack of respect for the law, and a Millennial person.

Millennials! How can someone who’s only 22 afford a Ferrari, what with all that avocado toast they’re reportedly eating?

Then, later, the cops nabbed somebody going three times the limit in a Smart car. On one hand, I’m even more angry at this person than the Ferrari-driving doofus, because a Smart is a far less stable car at that speed, and you can at least count on a Ferrari’s brakes to stop it quickly. On the other hand, I’m almost impressed. Really? I didn’t know a Smart could even go that fast.

But I am not here today to cast stones at the obvious target of speeders who break the law in such indefensible ways. Instead, I’d like to take a look at why these things happen, and what they mean for our roads in general.

First, let’s take a look at what the Lions Gate Bridge looks like at 2 a.m., the time that the alleged offence is said to have occurred.

There’s pretty much no one on it, it’s long and straight, and the downhill section to the north lets you see any other cars. There’s also a separate section for pedestrians and cyclists, which is divided by a barrier. A Ferrari 488 can go from zero to 200 km/h in about nine seconds, so to go from, say 70 km/h to 220 km/h, should take roughly five or six seconds of full throttle.

That’s a hell of a temptation. I’m happy to say that as I’ve aged like a fine wine (or possibly a large wheel of mouldy cheese), I’d be able to resist it and plan a weekend at the Area 27 track instead. But when I was 22? Let’s just say the exuberance of youth is not always accompanied by an overabundance of brains.

And let’s not blame the Ferrari either. Have you heard of motorcycles, perchance? Any half-decent sportbike with a displacement above a litre runs a quarter-mile time in the ten or eleven second range, roughly the same or better than the Ferrari. A Kawasaki ZX-14R costs less than a Honda Civic.

There are a few solutions. Ban Ferraris. Ban Millennials. Ban anything faster than a 1974 AMC Matador. Raise taxes on avocado toast until everyone under the age of 30 has to take the bus.

Alternatively, we could look at what’s really causing the issue: the road.

Most human beings drive at whatever speed they think they can safely get away with. Yes, Mr. Ferrari likely knew his speeds were ridiculous, but he probably thought, come on – 2 a.m.? What’s the worst that could happen? (Plenty, actually, including perhaps debris, a flat driver’s side tire, and a sudden veer into the oncoming lane.)

You can also see this behaviour on the Upper Levels Highway, especially where two lanes becomes three. Drive from the Second Narrows on an evening at exactly the speed limit, and you’ll see people speed up on the straights and slow through the corners. It’s even more apparent on the Sea to Sky, where someone will trundle along through the curvy bits at a relaxed pace – and then blitz through Lions Bay without bothering to slow down at all.

Further, it’s possible to look across the North Shore and see many instances where poor road design results in people breaking the law or putting themselves in danger almost constantly. For instance, the traffic light at the right turn offramp onto Keith Road westbound only seems to exist to about 50 per cent of people. Cars come whizzing off the highway and blow through the red because they don’t even see it.

Actually, that whole end of town is a mess, with the southbound onramps being a case of mash the throttle and pray. It’s no wonder so many days you log on to Google Maps and see the traffic situation is just one long clogged artery.

There are those who will call for the return of photo radar, particularly with the rumblings about ICBC needing to bump rates in the near future. I’m opposed to this on the grounds that spending a dollar on technology instead of on employing a police officer is not an effective way to keep our roads safe. The reason Mr. Ferrari is now Mr. Compass Card for the next while is because an experienced officer knew where to be. Further, if some poor sap coasted into the 50 km/h section at 65 km/h, on the way home from a graveyard shift, the officer would have the discretion to decide what kind of response was appropriate.

So, a couple of things. First, just because someone appears to be an entitled scofflaw doesn’t mean that you should bathe in schadenfreude and then go over the Lynn Creek Bridge at 110 km/h. They caught the guy and took his car away – use the example as a check to make sure you’re not pushing the limits yourself. With the quietness of modern cars, it’s easier to go from lower-case speeding to upper-case Speeding quicker than you think.

Second, surely to goodness we could do something to address the glaring flaws in our highway system. The idiotic westbound Capilano onramp. The snarl that always happens at the foot of the Second Narrows. There exists more than a century’s worth of road-planning data from countries all around the world: can we not untangle some of these problems to make our roads safer?

And lastly, maybe it’s time we stepped back from the outrage button for a bit. If you look at the political situation to the south of us, it’s just a constant barrage of shouting on all sides. We could all stand to calm down a bit. Relax on the throttle. Drop the window. Slow down: you’re not a Smart car owner.

Brendan McAleer is a freelance writer and automotive enthusiast. mcaleeronwheels@gmail.com