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Sunday, May 19, 2013 7:25:34 PM
 
 

Top 10 Wacky Movie Millionaires

 

In honour of the release of The Dark Knight Rises, we're counting down the zaniest rich people in the movies.

 
July 19, 2012
 
 
 
Multi-millionaires who flaunt their wealth are seen as arrogant, tacky and not a little bit oblivious. Put Mr. Moneybags into a movie though, and he's still all of those things – but now it's also charming and kind of awesome. Take Bruce Wayne, for example – as far as we can tell, he spends most of The Dark Knight Rises driving around in priceless, badass Batmobiles and living the life in a mega-mansion, but Mr. Money still seems to find it acceptable to throw himself one long pity party. In real life, we'd hate that guy, but give him Christian Bale's face (and muscles!) and suddenly, we find him irresistible. Let's face it: we love flicks about zany rich people, so in honour of The Dark Knight Rises (in theatres July 20), we're counting down the ten wackiest movie millionaires.
 

Multi-millionaires who flaunt their wealth are seen as arrogant, tacky and not a little bit oblivious. Put Mr. Moneybags into a movie though, and he's still all of those things – but now it's also charming and kind of awesome. Take Bruce Wayne, for example – as far as we can tell, he spends most of The Dark Knight Rises driving around in priceless, badass Batmobiles and living the life in a mega-mansion, but Mr. Money still seems to find it acceptable to throw himself one long pity party. In real life, we'd hate that guy, but give him Christian Bale's face (and muscles!) and suddenly, we find him irresistible. Let's face it: we love flicks about zany rich people, so in honour of The Dark Knight Rises (in theatres July 20), we're counting down the ten wackiest movie millionaires.

Photograph by: IMDB/Screencap , IMDB/Screencap

 
Multi-millionaires who flaunt their wealth are seen as arrogant, tacky and not a little bit oblivious. Put Mr. Moneybags into a movie though, and he's still all of those things – but now it's also charming and kind of awesome. Take Bruce Wayne, for example – as far as we can tell, he spends most of The Dark Knight Rises driving around in priceless, badass Batmobiles and living the life in a mega-mansion, but Mr. Money still seems to find it acceptable to throw himself one long pity party. In real life, we'd hate that guy, but give him Christian Bale's face (and muscles!) and suddenly, we find him irresistible. Let's face it: we love flicks about zany rich people, so in honour of The Dark Knight Rises (in theatres July 20), we're counting down the ten wackiest movie millionaires.
10) Ned Gold (17 Again, 2009) – Ned (Thomas Lennon) is the millionaire best friend of Mike (Matthew Perry/Zac Efron) and is obsessed with Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Ned has a hard time talking to women, but when he meets Mike's principal, he discovers that he's not alone in his nerdy endeavors. How could she resist him? Not only is Ned loaded, he speaks Elvish as well!
9) Thomas Crown (The Thomas Crown Affair, 1999) - What to get the man who has everything? A challenge. The adventurous Crown plots to steal a painting from the New York Museum -- little does he know that he'll run into insurance investigator Catherine Banning, who proves to be his biggest adventure yet.
8) The Clampetts (The Beverly Hillbillies, 1993) - After the single Jed Clampett strikes it rich by hitting oil, he up and moves his family to Beverly Hills. If Hollywood has taught us anything, it's that hillbillies and money don't mix. Clampett soon discovers that there are plenty of con artists willing to do anything to get a piece of his fortune.
7) Carlisle Cullen (The Twilight Saga) – So, you're a handsome twenty-something who gets turned into a vampire, but you're a compassionate vampire. What do you do with the rest of your undead life? Well, if you're Carlisle Cullen, your blood lust doesn't override your compassion, so you use your vampire powers to turn a bunch of humans and form a nice, nuclear vampire family. Oh, and when one of your new "daughters" turns out to be psychic, you abuse her abilities to play the stock market until you're almost offensively wealthy. Then, you encourage your vampire "son," who is more than 100 years old, to date a teenager. Oh, those wacky vampire millionaires!
6) Forrest Gump (Forrest Gump, 1994) – Stupid is as stupid does, and apparently, stupid does extremely, extremely well. With an IQ of 75 and a slow manner of speaking, Forrest (Tom Hanks) doesn't seem like he could become a millionaire – but then, he doesn't seem like he could be a Vietnam hero or a ping-pong champion, either, so there you go. Forrest promises his best friend, Bubba, that they'll buy a shrimp boat together, and even when Bubba dies in Vietnam, Forrest isn't one to go back on his word. And, since Forrest Gump is probably the luckiest man alive, his shrimp boat is the only one to survive a vicious storm; his shrimp business booms and soon he's got more money than Davey Crockett.
5) Longfellow Deeds (Mr. Deeds, 2002) - When Longfellow Deeds inherits $40 billion from his late uncle, he finds himself on an adventure to New York -- a far cry from his small town. Deeds quickly finds out that everyone is out to take advantage of him, including a reporter who he falls in love with. Sure, being used by loved ones is tough, but at least he can comfort himself with the cool Hawaiian Punch water fountain he had installed in his late uncle's mansion.
4) Mr. Burns (The Simpsons Movie, 2007) – For decades (and decades, and decades), Mr. Burns has been right at the intersection of unbelievable wealth and incomprehensible evil. To date, he's used his piles of money to: bribe the jury at the Springfield film festival; empty the sea of its creatures in order to use the carcasses for an all-purpose animal slurry; block out the sun, forcing the people of Springfield to pay more for electricity; drink Springfield Elementary's crude oil milkshake; and steal candy from a baby. Sure, he's an ancient, withered monster, but you have to hand it to the guy: at least he's creative with his malevolence.
3) Monty Brewster (Brewster's Millions, 1985) – We all wish we had a wealthy, long-lost uncle to bequeath us millions of dollars upon his death. This is exactly what happens to Monty Brewster (Richard Pryor) – only it turns out his uncle was also a bit of a scamp. The uncle leaves Brewster $30 million, with the stipulation that it must be spent within 30 days and that Brewster can't have anything to show for it once it's gone. If he succeeds, he'll actually inherit $300 million; if he fails, he gets bupkis. Cue the most awesome, balls-out, month-long spending spree that most of us can only dream of, in which Brewster throws a huge party at Yankee Stadium, runs for mayor and basically has the time of his life.
2) Richie Rich (Richie Rich, 1994) - Richie Rich (Macaulay Culkin) grows up in a world of luxury as the only child to the world's wealthiest people. He has everything a child could desire (including his own butler, cleverly named Cadbury) except for companionship. After attempting to make friends (and failing desperately), Rich starts bribing kids for their friendship. Lesson learned – money can buy you happiness.
1) Willy Wonka (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, 1968) – On the surface, Willy Wonka has used his gargantuan wealth in exactly the way every kid dreams of: building a huge, fantastical chocolate factory, complete with a chocolate river, snozzberry-flavoured wall-paper, a terrifying boat ride and an extensive staff of teensy slave labourers. Ideal, right? But here's where Willy Wonka loses us: he hardly ever invites anyone inside his factory, and when he does, it's all an elaborate ruse to play mindgames on unsuspecting children, leading to the majority of them becoming physically deformed in one way or another. We don't care how much free chocolate Willy Wonka gave us – that's messed up, man.
 
 
 
 
 
 
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